Sean Alsilski Gala Boy

Buy your Gala here!

You may or may not have heard or seen ‘Oyibo man’  hawking UAC food’s most popular brand, Gala beef roll. It’s a popular snack on major roads in Lagos and demand is highest during the rush-hour and heavy traffic. Gala has been around for many years and has enjoyed monopoly (many others have come and gone) even in the face of adulteration (or better still, piracy). Gala now sells for 50 naira per roll. You can see why Sean has combat pants to keep his plenty denominations of the Naira so that he can equally provide “change” to buyers who are in no time to hit the next car bumper to bumper, if you don’t have change, you don’t sell. If you don’t have the energy, others outsell you. You must be able to navigate in between different types of cars and ‘learners’ and also evade your worst enemy – the okada. Watch out for KAI or Task Force men, you know where to keep your phone if you have one. Lastly, you need all your sense organs – ears (to sense people beckoning), eyes (to read gestures) and even nose (to smell danger) – and your skin, as tough as the alligators as you need to be strong in times of rain, cold and scorching sun. Not to mention, you must learn to flash the “fresh and soft” gala in the face of pupils in the back seat. If you are thinking of starting a gala-hawking business, please think twice, it’s not that easy! And of course, you must know where, where not and when not to hawk: (http://lagosmet.com/blog/category/laws-of-lagos-state)

Gala beef roll

Here’s the story from PM News:

American Hawks Gala In Lagos An American, Mr. Sean Alsilski, was seen hawking gala sausage rolls yesterday, at the Ojota area of Lagos state. He easily drew a large crowd as Lagosians laughed and wondered what could have made him to hawk gala in Lagos, and on a sunny day too. But Alsilski, unperturbed by the people watching and giggling at him, continued to sell his stuff to motorists and passersby who were eager to buy from him, some just for the fun of it. He rebuffed people trying to ask him why he was out in the streets selling gala, saying he was too busy to talk to anyone. After much prompting by this reporter, he opened up on why he was out selling gala on Lagos streets. Alsilski said he came to Lagos to carry out a six-month research project on hawking and street trading in Lagos, and the best way to get the answers that he wants was to get involved in the real business rather than be an observer. He said he had already spent five months in Lagos, hawking gala at different parts of the state. “I am here to do a research on hawking and street trading. I was billed to be in Nigeria for six months as part of the Fullbright exchange programme. “I have been here for five months now, hawking. I have one month to go. I am going to give a presentation to the United States Embassy about my research,” said Alsilski. Born in the city of New York, the United States, Alsilski lamented that from what he has observed, government was harsh on hawkers and street traders. “Hawkers here are under stress right now from the government and I am studying what the government is doing right now. We can make some recommendations. “Government is harsh on them. Some of them have had their goods taken away. I am not sure that is the best way to go about it. “In some cities, hawkers and traders are given licenses and allowed to go to certain areas to hawk. But hawkers should not be allowed to hawk in places like Oshodi,” he stated. Alsilski’s hawking business has taken him to Yaba, Ojuelegba, Mushin, Ojota, Mile 2, Apapa, Lagos Island and Agege.

Source: PMNEWS (http://thepmnews.com/2009/06/16/american-hawks-gala-in-lagos)

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Oshodi Lasgidi Driving, no bumper 2 bumper

25 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, Lagos Driving 101

1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)

3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way”in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend ur whole saturday @ the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS

- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

Source: Mayowa Owoeye (facebook notes)

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Buy while it's hot, no credit-crunching this!

Lagos, Nigeria 1004 flats now on unit sales:

This is the biggest single transaction in the real estate business in Nigeria (07/04/2009).

Somewhere around Adetokunbo Ademola and Ozumba Mbadiwe, Lekki – Epe Expressway, the building UACN Property Development Company (UDPC) Plc purchased for a few billion naira will now sell for (HOW MUCH?) at least 60 billion naira! The building has been equipped with CCTV survillance cameras, electronic card access system, 4 swimming pools, lawn tennis and squash courts, 4 gymnasiums, 4 Generators, security patrol team, water fountains, panoramic lifts, club house and bar. Each apartment, fully funished has prepaid PHCN meter, microwave, a/c, washing machine and dryer.

LagosMet Rainy Season: My do’s and don’ts for motorists and passengers – How to survive the rainy season.

How much? Okay, it’s VERY cheap and affordable especially for salary earners, students and self-employed individuals (no be me talk am o). Each of the 2-bedroom apartments goes for 45m if the buyer is paying cash and 50m if payment is by installment. 3 and 4-bedroom apartments go for 65m and 85m respectiviely with 5% discount if it is a cash deal (jale jale). To all the alaroros, they are closing approximately 1 out of 10 enquiries (I mean 10 phone calls lead to 1 sure deal). Zenith and IBTC are the risk takers. There are only 42×2br flats, 84×3br maissionette, 34×4-storeyed of 8/4-br flats each, 8×4-storeyed blocks of 6×2-br maissonettes, 1×3-storeyed block of 6×2-br flats. If your calculator isn’t displaying 1004 total at the moment then you probably aren’t ICAN certified!

Is it worth it?

I can’t answer that, but logically, I think it is. The location (proximity to important places) makes it even more valuable than Lekki Phase 1 – VGC and beyond. In the heart of Victoria Island, with less traffic and more options (roads, clubs, hotels, work e.t.c.) I think it’s the best bargain anywhere on the Island. Former residents can bear me witness. Surrounding buildings include Civic Centre, Law School, Sweet Sensation, Cactus, BJay’s Hotel, Jazz Club e.t.c to mention a handful. If you can, then buy and rent it out.

ps: This is the biggest single transaction in the real estate business in Nigeria.

LagosMet: My problem, for aproximately 5,000 people in one huge compound, no medical facilities, no creche, no school just a bar and a night club? C’mon.

Trackback: Is your home crumbling? As buildings keep crumbling, the Lagos State Government has reacted by visiting suspected and reported buildings, marking them X and bringing them down to ground zero. If you suspect any such building, please report to the authorities (no toll-free 911, sorry!)

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