LagosMet Rainy Season: My do’s and don’ts for motorists and passengers

Automobiles, Economy, Education, Lagos, Life, Nigeria, Places, Transportation, driving, flood and drainage, housing, situation report, traffic 11 Comments »

LagosMet Rainy Season: My do’s and don’ts for motorists and passengers.

I sincerely hope this is the final year Lagos would have to go without drainage. I don’t mean drainage in Ikeja or Lagos Island alone, I mean all over the state cos we all pay tax and this flood thingy is making the whole of Lagos look like

A lawyer's view of flooded Orile

A lawyer's view of flooded Orile

Governor Raji Fashola (Pol Party: Action Congress AC) has done nothing. The Governor has tried his best, we know the power issue is beyond him but he can do much better in terms of security and drainage.

(Kindly include the link to this page if you intend to copy and paste the contents of this page. Please quote the source: http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/)

I’d been yelling drainage since September last year when I stopped using my very low car, discarded it and got a higher one, a low-class 4 – wheeler (my papa no be politician). Now I can sing “because he lives… I can FACE tomorrow”. Tomorrow as in Lagos floods, nothing more to it. If I can swap minds with fellow readers, those with low cars, e.g. Old Accord, Mini, Bug, Picanto, QQ, I10, Celica, Legend and Previa, e.t.c. are already cursing their luck. Sorry, so goes the saying “save for the rainy day”. Now it’s raining, look outside your window, you see it drizzling, yeah, out there, it doesn’t reflect anything drizzling at all, it in fact paints the picture of the aftermath of a Tsunami. I’ve been avoiding blogging for some days now cos it takes me at least 4 hours to come up with something and I have a whole lot on my neck, I’m not so into coffee and this cold brings with it the lure of sleep… (you all are happy today’s a public holiday aint ya?). For this reason, I’ll keep facts, pictures and sturvs for some other time and go straight to the point. As usual, just my 2 cents, you don’t have to agree with me 100% but to those who have ears…

It’s Rainy Season, what do you do?

Your Umbrella or your life?

Your Umbrella or your life?

1. Buy an umbrella for the car, office, a friend and home.

2. If you haven’t raised your sport car, call your mechanic now

3. Don’t drive while it’s raining or less than 20 minutes after, it takes a while for highway floods to clear.

4. Don’t venture into roads you less frequently used (during the dry season) as floods make it difficult to differentiate pot holes from “gutters” and “canals”.

5. If you must drive while it’s drizzling or raining, turn your headlamps on and your emergency lamps too. Also, avoid depending on horns alone, while you honk, flass your full lights as well since most windows are wound up and A/Cs on in other to clear the windscreen of most cars. Some even tune up their radios for situation reports, coupled with the deafening sound of the rain and thunder outside, your horn alone is less than likely to pass the message across. Use your hazard lights and flash your full lights.

6. Avoid unnecessary overtaking. Everyone’s trying to avoid water clogged areas and also splashing water on pedestrians.

7. Trust your instincts, if it looks like your car won’t make it, then don’t take it. I mean don’t risk it, it’s never too late to turn back when your rear is clear. Once other cars join you there, you have little option than to be compelled to MOVE into the danger zone, and glory be to God if you (your car) survive. http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

8. Avoid reversing unnecessarily, it is against the law to face oncoming traffic (one-way) but in this period, you just can’t help it. Better to face oncoming traffic than to do a reverse. It is very dangerous, especially due to poor visibility. Poor visibility contributes 85% to most road accidents when it’s raining as some people don’t even have wipers, some don’t have A/Cs to clear the fog on the windscreen, some are hydrophobic and they just ram into you, then you try to step out and realise you are in the middle of the River Niger, you need the back of a tout to make it to the other side where you would only be drowned halfway.

9. If you can, avoid service lanes and generally the lower ends of unlevelled roads as they hold more water. Service Lanes hold deadly pot holes (especially along Ikorodu road up to Ketu). If you are not driving an LR4, and you can do without service lanes, please do. Palmgrove, Onipanu, Ojota, Ajah and some places in Victoria Island are Bermudas Triangles you don’t want to find yourself in.

He that is "drowned" needs fear no "flood"

He that is "drowned" needs fear no "flood"

10. Follow the leader, and give him some distance. Taxis (yellow and black) know the bad places in Lagos, they know the roads like you know the buttons of your mobile phone. Follow someone who has a flood navigator (don’t follow okadas or LR4’s, follow car for car or SUV for SUV, not Trailer for Cooper).

11. Have some airtime on your phone.

12. Service your car, fix your horn, tyres, winders, heaters, A/C, fog lamps, trafficators, and everything fixable. Believe you me, no one will stop for you when it’s pouring heavily. When it’s pouring, you don’t see the police and that’s when men of the underworld rush out en-masse, you make their work easier for them when your car breaks down for any reason, even a flat tyre.

13. Don’t drive alone but avoid picking unknown persons up. When it rains, it is assumed that all cars have tinted glasses and no one can see someone pointing weapons at you right in your car, and even if they do, they look for an exit and drive off, leaving you to your fate. Be very careful. Lock your doors.

14. Drive slowly, you have no choice. Tyre skid, brakes fail and cars stop suddenly when it pours, so be prepared to gently apply (not slam) your brakes. Traffic is bound to be heavier than on normal days so leave home some 30 minutes earlier than usual, but not too early. In fact don’t leave home while it’s dark as floods will force you to drive slowly or even stop and that’s when “our friends” can make a run at you. You will also notice that colleagues get to work/meetings later than they used to.

15. Ensure you have a fair amount of gas (sorry, petrol) in your tank. Rain-induced traffic are 69% heavier.

http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

As for Pedestrians, you know the rules already.

BIS under siege sometime ago

BIS under siege sometime ago

1. Umbrella

2. Nylon cover, shower caps, or raincoat, umbrellas can’t withstand strong winds.

3. Rain boots (keep a spare pair of shoes in the office and trouser/skirt too). Rubber shoes are on sale now (Max: 400 naira.). Sometimes NEPA/PHCN poles bow to the winds and live power cables/wires find their way into the stagnant waters creating death traps for innocent pedestrians. I’d say rubber boots are essentials.

4. Use the BRT (thank God LAGBUS have resumed operation), if you feel that friend’s rickety car might nor make it, or that your car is not in the best rain condition

5. Have airtime on your line, call your superior if traffic is hell.

6. Avoid carrying laptops and other bulky electronics that won’t fit in beneath the raincoat.

7. Keep yourself warm

8. Carry a 50cl bottle of water, to wash your feet when you reach your destination.

9. Don’t forget to pick your umbrella after leaving it out to dry…

10. Don’t walk in the path of motorists, especially in the clear paths as motorists desperately try to avoid water and have poorer visibility seeing through water clogged screens. You are more likely to get hit by a hit and run driver in this period. http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

11. Do not back traffic; face on coming traffic and always be prepared to dive. Don’t cuss the driver or the governor when it does happen.

12. Relocate if you can, closer to the office or your business. As bus fares skyrocket (even BRT and LAGBUS increased fares), you will find it cheaper to stay closer to your source of income.

13. Take your leave. We usually have one or two 3-day non stop rain and 7-day non stop drizzling, I can’t think of a better time to take your leave than then. I just hate traffic.

14. Not a good time to pay friends a visit. In fact, Churches will see a decrease in the congregation size too. Do not promise to visit friends at this point in time, and don’t pay surprise visits as your hosts may be 3 hours away in traffic or trying to pull their car our of the canal.

15. Be careful where you put your legs into. Some stagnant waters house various pests and diseases, and some “small” waters can mask deep gutters and sharp objects. Do not be tempted to take off your shoes unless you know the road so well. It is always safer to turn back.

16. Finally, if you can’t “enter” the rain, then wait in a safe place, there is no shame in doing so, but it is sometimes dangerous. Watch where, who and for how long you do. My advice, don’t stay behind for too long, move as soon as the rain subsides.

Eh, 2 hours gone already! I got work to do guys, you can help with the ones I missed out on. I wish you all the best. You can send me pictures and stories of floods in your area and I will do well to post them here, of course with your name on it, if you don’t mind.

Safety first, no regrets. Happy Easter.

All rights reserved, Christino Xsi Penthome, 2009.

If you enjoyed reading this, please refer this page to a friend.

Link to this page: http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

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Lagos Laws: Alms to beggars, loittering & littering can lead to jail!

Automobiles, Critique, Economy, Education, Lagos, Laws, Laws of Lagos State, Life, Places, Transportation, driving, security, situation report, traffic 2 Comments »

Opambata, Eyo o!

Opambata, Eyo o!

Lagos Laws: Alms to beggars, loittering & littering can lead to jail.

Giving of alms to beggars – 1 month imprisonment. Wandering in any premises – 3 month to 1 year imprisonment. Suspected thief with no proven means of livelihood, 3 months to 1 year imprisonment. It is an offence to dispose of scrap papers, newspapers, sweet wrappers, fruit skins, water sachets or similar refuse anywhere except little bins within the Lagos Central Business district. Offenders will be liable to a fine of not less than N1, 000.00

Just imagine me, cruising my nano, ‘jeje-ly’, it’s hot and my a/c is blowing flames so I decide to feel the cool breeze only cos as hungry as I am, Gala has been banned, I’m watching out for “red” bikes coming too close too, cos LagosMet said it’s not safe (security-wise), Just in front of me, I see a “check point”, my heart is beating fast cos I left home without my license,  I narrowly escaped and see a child beggar right in front, another trying to clean my windscreen, I decide to help (not that kind of lagos erotic help o!) and then remember that I could end up in jail this very night… yet Lagos is not the worst place to work. Joor oh! Mi o le fi handcuffs she bracelet o!

THE PUBLICATION

In the initiative to re-enforce Law and Order around the Lagos Central Business District, the Lagos State Government hereby draws the attention of the general public to the following PUBLIC DISORDER OFFENCES, contained in the CRIMINAL CODE AND ENVIROMENTAL SANITATION LAW 2003 LAWS OF LAGOS STATE and the sanction that maybe imposed upon conviction.

1    BEGGING FOR OR GATHERING OR COLLECTING ALMS IS PROHIBITED WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT:

1    Outer and Inner Marina
2    Broad Street
3    Balogun Street
4    Martins Street
5    Nnamdi Azikiwe Street
6    Eko Bridge
7    Carter Bridge
8    Apongbon Street
9    Idumagbo Avenue
10    Campbell Street
11    Breadfruit Street
12    Tinubu Street
13    Abibu Oki Street
14    Oke Olowogbowo Street
15    Davis Street
16    Adeniji Adele Street
17    Church Street
18    Docemo Street
19    Odunlami Street
20    Iga Idunganran Street
21    Ereko Street
22    Kakawa Street
23    Campos Street
24    Bamgbose Street
25    Alli Balogun Street
26    Ehingbeti (Marina Foreshore)
27    Ebute Ero
28    Force Road
29    King George Road
30    All Flyovers in Lagos Island

It is an offence to give alms to any person begging for alms within the Lagos Central Business District.

Offenders will be liable to one (1) month imprisonment and suffer punishment for subsequent offences.
www.LagosMet.com
2    Every Person found wandering in or upon or near any premises or in any road or highway or any place adjacent thereto or in any public place within the Lagos Central Business District at such time or under such circumstances as to lead to the conclusion that such a person is there for an illegal or disorderly purpose shall be deemed to be a rouge or vagabond and is guilty of a misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for three (3) months and one (1) year upon subsequent conviction.
3    Every suspected person or reputed thief who has no visible means of subsistence and cannot give an account of himself found within the Lagos Central Business District shall be deemed to be a rouge or vagabond and is guilty of a misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for three (3) months and one (1) year upon subsequent conviction.

1.    Extortion by tout or miscreants is prohibited on all streets within the Lagos Central Business District.

2.    LITTERING OF THE STREETS WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT IS PROHIBITED.

It is an offence to dispose of scrap papers, newspapers, sweet wrappers, fruit skins, water sachets or similar refuse anywhere except little bins within the Lagos Central Business district. Offenders will be liable to a fine of not less than N1, 000.00

3.    DEFECATING OR URINATING IN THE DRAINAGE OR OPEN SPACES WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT.

It is an offence to defecate or urinate in the drainage or open spaces within the Lagos Central Business District. Offenders will be prosecuted and upon conviction liable to a fine between N5, 000.00 & N 10,000.00.

4.    STRUCTURE ON ROAD SET BACK & ABUSE OF OPEN SPACE AND WALK PATH.

It is an offence to erect any structure on the road set back and walk path of any highway within the Lagos Central Business District and any open space within the district.

No person shall use any road set back or walk path or open space within the Lagos Central Business District for a mechanic workshop.
Offenders will be prosecuted and upon conviction liable to a fine between N5,000.00 & N10,000.00.

Persons convicted of any of these offences maybe ordered to render community service under the provisions of the Law.

Eko o ni baje o!

BIG thanks to Chinwe for putting this together.

Joke of the day. Let’s visit the court of law as this grannie is being tried for disobeying the laws of the state…

Grandma prolly knows you too!

Grandma prolly knows you too!

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Is Lagos really the world’s worst place to work?

Critique, Economy, Education, Food, Internet, Lagos, Life, Media, Nigeria, Places, Social, Structures, Transportation 4 Comments »

The world’s best place to live in, the worst place to work

Lagos Island

Lagos Island

I tried real hard not to discuss this topic but I have since found myself caught in the middle of such arguments initiated by first time visitors to Lagos. Work is still on going and I sincerely believe Lagos will be the best place on earth to work when issues such as security, drainage and traffic have been resolved.

AOL’s survey: http://video.aol.com/video-detail/lagos-voted-worst-place-to-work/2278408703/?icid=VIDLRVNWS04 reported that voters decided human beings should not work in Lagos.

=======================================================

Result:

No. 1 Lagos, Nigeria

Overall Grade: Very High Risk Location
Severe Problems: Infrastructure, Crime
Major Problems: Pollution, Disease & Sanitation, Medical Facilities, Availability of Goods and Services
Other Problems: Climate, Education Facilities, Physical Remoteness, Political Violence & Repression, Political & Social Environment, Culture & Recreation
LagosMet Problems: All these in our Lagos Naija alone?

======================================================

Where do I start from? Talking about expatriates (cos they obviously participated in the voting process), war-torn countries such as Sudan, Iraq, Columbia, Liberia e.t.c miraculously failed to produce a City to top this “overblown” report and places such as Gaza, Darfur e.t.c. are not as bad as Lagos. Interesting innit? Apapa, V.I., Ikoyi, Surulere, Ilupeju harbour lots of expatriates from Americans, Europeans to Asians, South Americans and Africans. Lebanese, Japanese, Indian and Chinese are known to be notorious employers but are still making it big in Lagos and we are yet to see a massive exodus of such people. Many of them have settled in Lagos, have their spiritual places of worship and even contribute to the society and local organizations. They have their Schools (Indian School, Ilupeju, American International School, British International School, The Chinese School… and so on) and even have their vegetable markets. Even when Kidnapping seems to be the order of the day, expatriates are rarely kidnapped in Lagos.

Vegetable Market

Vegetable Market

We already know our roads need massive repairs, and power supply is almost non-existent, but we have tried our best to accomodate foreigners; why the negative report? From Y-not to Eko Hotel, Kuramo to Galleria, our “night fighters” have kept them warm in the land of heat, some even got married and had kids by them. Mobil for example have a huge staff quarters on Ligali Ayorinde, right next to their HQ. Chevron already have a similar structure somewhere around 4th round about, with members of staff (foreigners) relaxing comfortably in their sofas while others have staff buses and the rest is all history. Lagos is relatively peaceful.

The voters certainly had something else against Lagos beyond this and this is no good news to rebrand Nigeria. I think it’s time to rebrand Lagos and let our expatriates know that the best way to move our Metro forward is not to go to AOL or ABC or Business Week to say “Hey Fellas, Lagos is your Bermudas Triangle!”. They have probably tasted our food, visited our Hotels, Strip-clubs, Night Clubs, Coliseums, and Malls, and Gallerias and our wines and champaignes but have handed us a bottle of Napalm in return. We all know many of the problems we have in Lagos, but please (Joor Oh!) it’s not so so bad.

Eko o ni baje!

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