It’s been a week already and NNPC has publicly declared that Filling Stations will ’smile no more’ come Thursday. Before you begin jumping up, News around is that the number of trucks loading fuel in Lagos has reduced from 180 to just 20. NNPC had better be telling me the truth. Methink they’ve just postponed another week of suffering and we can only suffer, smile and say thank you (more like UP – NEPA! - ring a bell?). Fuel scarcity is the Holy Grail of most Gas stations, they fast, pray, hope, believe and long for it, if they don’t get it, they create it. They need catalysts or some little assistance in the form of rumours at least and capitalize on it, the resulting mixture was what you saw some weeks ago. Honestly, I got tired of capturing those ugly scenes (not because they almost attacked me and nearly beat the building manager up, I’m not making this up, they brandished AK’s but for the defiance of the building manager) and black marketers lining up the roads with red, yellow, green and pink coloured fake, original or lukewarm petrol. I still did not buy from them anyway. I got full tank on Friday morning, at 70 naira per litre on the mainland and still have about half tank left in there.

With the current Rebrand Nigeria (a topic I’ve been avoiding since inception) adverts and announcements all over the radio, papers and everywhere, it was a perfect time to test the faith of Nigerians, Lagosians to start with. Like the advert said, insist on first-come first-served, join the queue bla bla bla (is it easier said than done). Check out the people shunting the queues, forcefully, with sirens, uniform, koboko, bulala and AK’s (I no dey point fingers) – they probably need no re-branding like we do. Dora, are you reading?

This is what happens at filling stations now. The gates are closed and only one “fine-tuned” Machine works. This Pump has been badly programmed to cheat you, giving you about 7 litres instead of 10, but that’s no rip-off compared to Item number 7. Now to get into the gates (of course from the entry point, you pay the Agbero fee, about N100, then the gate fee, N50, to get in through the EXIT point, you pay N2,000 flat so you’re worth 20 stingy cars – all rebranding Nigeria). You then wait your turn as only one machine sells to hundreds of angry, impatient and unfriendly people. 3 dedicated people sell to you. 1 holds the nozzle, another determines whether you sell to cars, okadas, jerry cans or the powerful ones who come in through the exit, the last one holds the calculator and collects the money for the transaction. Okay, before the attendant fills your hungry tank, you pay N200 (sometimes N200 per N1000 sale) then they sell to you between N70 and N120 per litre. You look at the meter, not at the price because the calculator guy will tell you how much you are to pay as the machine might still be reading N65 per litre. You pay and deal is done. They are so honest they won’t ask you for tips, you drive out angrily cursing your luck, the government, the marketers and anyone who crosses your mind at that time, but when you get to the tail end of the queue and see black marketers doing a harder rip off, selling 20 litres at 5,000 naira, then you realise you didn’t lose much. Then you run into traffic in broad day light, it’s full tank so you decide to feel some A/C then you get home and read the papers and read about Ekiti Politics and ReBrand Nigeria. You shake your head and smile (in suffering), start your generator and think about tomorrow. Lasgidi babe.

If by 7th of May, 2009 queues are still this long, I’ll tell you what probably came up. But until then, I’ll be discussing -

Ebenezer Ajayi, killed by men of the force for wearing Camo and dumped at Area G, then Pen Cinema. http://thenationallife.com/2009/04/19/killed-by-soldiers/

Lagos Agents, house rents, land lease and property development scams.

The task force, clearing of Oshodi, Yaba and other major markets and progress report.

The Crash Helmet (better known as Element) and Lagos Okadas.

Lagos and the swine flu scare.

Meanwhile I’m presently reading the Ebola Monkey Man’s 419 archive http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/fanpage.htm, much similar to that of 419eater.com and 419baiter.com join me.

It’s 5:00pm, Arsenal Versus Man-U coming up soon but before then, you must fight through traffic. Wish you all the best.

I’ve been kinda rusty these days, looking for news on the fuel scarcity situation, and hoping today would be a brighter day. Hopefully there shouldn’t be traffic till 4:00pm when millions would be headed to the Redemption camp (first friday of the month). Being a public holiday, you can be sure as death that many who have missed all of this year’s editions will try to make up for it today. It’s a funny situation, a funny day, sorry a great day.

1. It’s a Friday – (club boys, spend the whole day queuing for fuel, otherwise, your ass is grounded, no parole, lasgidi babe!)

2. It’s a public holiday (May 1st 2009 is worker’s day – day for the gallerias, start early, join the BRT)

3. Fuel scarcity day 4 (Black marketers, keep on cleaning out, rebrand, No! re-elect, No! refuel Nigeria)

4. Monthly RCCG (Redeemed Christian Church of God) vigil @ the Redemption Camp (if your parish got a bus then join the queue)

Whooooh! I guess you are on your own, I have a little below half tank and I’m burning all today… of course, no A/C, no overspeeding, no traffic (i hope,sorry, I pray!) .

For those who work, happy worker’s day, for students, wish you success in your exams, for the unemployed, it’s just another day getting you closer to your breakthrough, never give up trying your hands on tough things.

Happy Holidays.

Lagos: Eyo Festival, taxi, okada or danfo banned on Island, 25th Apr, 09 Eko, Lagos Nigeria. Lagos will attract media attention from the world tomorrow, Saturday, 25th of April 09 (no environmental sanitation exercise) as the Eyo Masquerades file out in Lagos Island to compete (to win 1 million, 750k and 500k), honour late Chief TOS Benson of Ikorodu and thrill tourists and spectators. With the kind of media attention, publicity and importance attached to the festival, Governor Fashola has stepped in big time to ensure orderliness, safety and security of visitors, tourists and spectators. The Eyo does not cross water therefore, the Tafawa Balewa Square (TBS) will be the last touch and the final venue.

According to The Punch, “The state government has also barred all commercial buses, taxis and motorcycles from entering Lagos Island on the day of the festival.” 1060 Policemen, 310 BRT and LAGBUS buses, 100 Black Marias are ways of beefing up security and efficiently transporting tourists and observers. You are warned to refrain from smoking cigarettes and pipes near the masquerades, taking of photographs or wearing caps near the Eyo is prohibited.

According to 234next, “This time around the state government has introduced a prize that may well rev up the competitive spirit the more. “The government informed us at a meeting early today that the family that wins the parade (at the Tafawa Balewa Square) this year will be awarded the sum of one million naira. The second prize is N750, 000, while the third prize is N500, 000,” Dehinde Onimole, clarifies when it is his turn to address the meeting.” The Eyo Festival used to be violent in the past but henceforth it will be more colourful, like the Brazil or Calabar Carnival. See the list of Nigerian Festivals.

LagosMet Verdict: The event promises to be very colourful and roads will most likely be sealed on Lagos Island, broad street, Ikoyi and environs. If you must attend the festival, you should leave home early. The monthly environmental sanitation exercise has been called off meaning you can move even after 7:00am. You may as well sit back and watch the entire coverage on TV – safer and less stressful (that’s what i’m going to do). Emotions are running high now in the spirit of the Eyo Festival, I won’t advice partying tonight, or driving late, anything can happen, especially at Apongbon, Carter Bridge, Adekunle and Obalende. I wish all the people and Friends of Lagos a happy Eyo Festival.

Fuel (Petrol) scarcity hits Lagos hard:

UPDATE: Strike was called off on Tuesday, the 21st of April, 2009.

I feel like brushing whoever is responsible for this self-induced scarcity at this time when things are tight. The impact of the scarcity (long queues and more hold ups wherever there is a filling station) was first felt on Friday morning and it lasted throughout the evening even until 12:00am. Many gas stations refused to sell while multitudes queued with cars, bikes and jerry cans (kegs) hoping God would touch the hearts of the Oil Masters. More than half of Lagos depends on petrol-fueled generators and no one wants to spend the weekend in darkness, after having worked 4:00am to 9:00pm on weekdays. I came back from the office on Friday with my tank at R and red meaning no weekend trip for me until a miracle comes through. Yesterday, Saturday ws equally bad, but this morning, things seem to be a bit much better around Ilupeju but from radio reports, some areas have not smelled petrol since Thursday. It rained and drizzled a lot yesterday, but today, the sky looks great and you won’t be drenched queuing and fighting to fill your tanks. If someone “bashes” you, sorry, there’s nothing you can do about it, cos it happened in a “scuffle” – please take note!

I have a feeling churches will be emptier than last Sundays as people hold on to their hopeful slots at heavy, unfriendly, violent and uncompromising queues. Trust touts and black market guys, a litre is now 250 naira – that’s if you are lucky. If you can’t buy, simply join the queue and waste your whole day. I’m buying 60 litres and there aint no way in hell that I could ever be tempted to pay 15,000 naira. Lai lai, no be me. I’m a Lagosian.

Just in case you didn’t know, the scarcity will definitely affect schedules, i mean visiting, shopping, worship, and even tripping. But on a serious note, I did not see a single BRT bus held up, instead they were going their normal business, bullish as ever on their dedicated lanes. They aren’t affected so… I’m digging out my coins, piling them up for a possible trip to work thanks to Lagos BRT, and it’s so cold I don’t have to pay double to board the LAGBUS with Air Conditioner, i’ll join the old old shock absorber-less Tata Buses. Lasgidi babe!

===============================================

It was discovered that the fuel scarcity was due in part to two factors. LASTMA officials impounded about 50 fuel tankers for parking on the Apapa Wharf Road, a dirty operation which ended in vandalism, and demanded the payment of 150,000 naira per tanker. Also, NUPENG and the PPPRA demanded at least 50 billion naira to be paid into their account (an amount being owed them by the government for fuel subsidy) and payment was made by electronic means on Monday, the 20th of April, 2009. The Lagos State Government cleared their part on Tuesday and the issue was resolved.

LagosMet Rainy Season: My do’s and don’ts for motorists and passengers.

I sincerely hope this is the final year Lagos would have to go without drainage. I don’t mean drainage in Ikeja or Lagos Island alone, I mean all over the state cos we all pay tax and this flood thingy is making the whole of Lagos look like

Governor Raji Fashola (Pol Party: Action Congress AC) has done nothing. The Governor has tried his best, we know the power issue is beyond him but he can do much better in terms of security and drainage.

(Kindly include the link to this page if you intend to copy and paste the contents of this page. Please quote the source: http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/)

I’d been yelling drainage since September last year when I stopped using my very low car, discarded it and got a higher one, a low-class 4 – wheeler (my papa no be politician). Now I can sing “because he lives… I can FACE tomorrow”. Tomorrow as in Lagos floods, nothing more to it. If I can swap minds with fellow readers, those with low cars, e.g. Old Accord, Mini, Bug, Picanto, QQ, I10, Celica, Legend and Previa, e.t.c. are already cursing their luck. Sorry, so goes the saying “save for the rainy day”. Now it’s raining, look outside your window, you see it drizzling, yeah, out there, it doesn’t reflect anything drizzling at all, it in fact paints the picture of the aftermath of a Tsunami. I’ve been avoiding blogging for some days now cos it takes me at least 4 hours to come up with something and I have a whole lot on my neck, I’m not so into coffee and this cold brings with it the lure of sleep… (you all are happy today’s a public holiday aint ya?). For this reason, I’ll keep facts, pictures and sturvs for some other time and go straight to the point. As usual, just my 2 cents, you don’t have to agree with me 100% but to those who have ears…

It’s Rainy Season, what do you do?

1. Buy an umbrella for the car, office, a friend and home.

2. If you haven’t raised your sport car, call your mechanic now

3. Don’t drive while it’s raining or less than 20 minutes after, it takes a while for highway floods to clear.

4. Don’t venture into roads you less frequently used (during the dry season) as floods make it difficult to differentiate pot holes from “gutters” and “canals”.

5. If you must drive while it’s drizzling or raining, turn your headlamps on and your emergency lamps too. Also, avoid depending on horns alone, while you honk, flass your full lights as well since most windows are wound up and A/Cs on in other to clear the windscreen of most cars. Some even tune up their radios for situation reports, coupled with the deafening sound of the rain and thunder outside, your horn alone is less than likely to pass the message across. Use your hazard lights and flash your full lights.

6. Avoid unnecessary overtaking. Everyone’s trying to avoid water clogged areas and also splashing water on pedestrians.

7. Trust your instincts, if it looks like your car won’t make it, then don’t take it. I mean don’t risk it, it’s never too late to turn back when your rear is clear. Once other cars join you there, you have little option than to be compelled to MOVE into the danger zone, and glory be to God if you (your car) survive. http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

8. Avoid reversing unnecessarily, it is against the law to face oncoming traffic (one-way) but in this period, you just can’t help it. Better to face oncoming traffic than to do a reverse. It is very dangerous, especially due to poor visibility. Poor visibility contributes 85% to most road accidents when it’s raining as some people don’t even have wipers, some don’t have A/Cs to clear the fog on the windscreen, some are hydrophobic and they just ram into you, then you try to step out and realise you are in the middle of the River Niger, you need the back of a tout to make it to the other side where you would only be drowned halfway.

9. If you can, avoid service lanes and generally the lower ends of unlevelled roads as they hold more water. Service Lanes hold deadly pot holes (especially along Ikorodu road up to Ketu). If you are not driving an LR4, and you can do without service lanes, please do. Palmgrove, Onipanu, Ojota, Ajah and some places in Victoria Island are Bermudas Triangles you don’t want to find yourself in.

10. Follow the leader, and give him some distance. Taxis (yellow and black) know the bad places in Lagos, they know the roads like you know the buttons of your mobile phone. Follow someone who has a flood navigator (don’t follow okadas or LR4’s, follow car for car or SUV for SUV, not Trailer for Cooper).

11. Have some airtime on your phone.

12. Service your car, fix your horn, tyres, winders, heaters, A/C, fog lamps, trafficators, and everything fixable. Believe you me, no one will stop for you when it’s pouring heavily. When it’s pouring, you don’t see the police and that’s when men of the underworld rush out en-masse, you make their work easier for them when your car breaks down for any reason, even a flat tyre.

13. Don’t drive alone but avoid picking unknown persons up. When it rains, it is assumed that all cars have tinted glasses and no one can see someone pointing weapons at you right in your car, and even if they do, they look for an exit and drive off, leaving you to your fate. Be very careful. Lock your doors.

14. Drive slowly, you have no choice. Tyre skid, brakes fail and cars stop suddenly when it pours, so be prepared to gently apply (not slam) your brakes. Traffic is bound to be heavier than on normal days so leave home some 30 minutes earlier than usual, but not too early. In fact don’t leave home while it’s dark as floods will force you to drive slowly or even stop and that’s when “our friends” can make a run at you. You will also notice that colleagues get to work/meetings later than they used to.

15. Ensure you have a fair amount of gas (sorry, petrol) in your tank. Rain-induced traffic are 69% heavier.

http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

As for Pedestrians, you know the rules already.

1. Umbrella

2. Nylon cover, shower caps, or raincoat, umbrellas can’t withstand strong winds.

3. Rain boots (keep a spare pair of shoes in the office and trouser/skirt too). Rubber shoes are on sale now (Max: 400 naira.). Sometimes NEPA/PHCN poles bow to the winds and live power cables/wires find their way into the stagnant waters creating death traps for innocent pedestrians. I’d say rubber boots are essentials.

4. Use the BRT (thank God LAGBUS have resumed operation), if you feel that friend’s rickety car might nor make it, or that your car is not in the best rain condition

5. Have airtime on your line, call your superior if traffic is hell.

6. Avoid carrying laptops and other bulky electronics that won’t fit in beneath the raincoat.

7. Keep yourself warm

8. Carry a 50cl bottle of water, to wash your feet when you reach your destination.

9. Don’t forget to pick your umbrella after leaving it out to dry…

10. Don’t walk in the path of motorists, especially in the clear paths as motorists desperately try to avoid water and have poorer visibility seeing through water clogged screens. You are more likely to get hit by a hit and run driver in this period. http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

11. Do not back traffic; face on coming traffic and always be prepared to dive. Don’t cuss the driver or the governor when it does happen.

12. Relocate if you can, closer to the office or your business. As bus fares skyrocket (even BRT and LAGBUS increased fares), you will find it cheaper to stay closer to your source of income.

13. Take your leave. We usually have one or two 3-day non stop rain and 7-day non stop drizzling, I can’t think of a better time to take your leave than then. I just hate traffic.

14. Not a good time to pay friends a visit. In fact, Churches will see a decrease in the congregation size too. Do not promise to visit friends at this point in time, and don’t pay surprise visits as your hosts may be 3 hours away in traffic or trying to pull their car our of the canal.

15. Be careful where you put your legs into. Some stagnant waters house various pests and diseases, and some “small” waters can mask deep gutters and sharp objects. Do not be tempted to take off your shoes unless you know the road so well. It is always safer to turn back.

16. Finally, if you can’t “enter” the rain, then wait in a safe place, there is no shame in doing so, but it is sometimes dangerous. Watch where, who and for how long you do. My advice, don’t stay behind for too long, move as soon as the rain subsides.

Eh, 2 hours gone already! I got work to do guys, you can help with the ones I missed out on. I wish you all the best. You can send me pictures and stories of floods in your area and I will do well to post them here, of course with your name on it, if you don’t mind.

Safety first, no regrets. Happy Easter.

All rights reserved, Christino Xsi Penthome, 2009.

If you enjoyed reading this, please refer this page to a friend.

Link to this page: http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/lagosmet-rainy-season-my-dos-and-donts-for-motorists-and-passengers/

Lagos, Nigeria 1004 flats now on unit sales:

This is the biggest single transaction in the real estate business in Nigeria (07/04/2009).

Somewhere around Adetokunbo Ademola and Ozumba Mbadiwe, Lekki – Epe Expressway, the building UACN Property Development Company (UDPC) Plc purchased for a few billion naira will now sell for (HOW MUCH?) at least 60 billion naira! The building has been equipped with CCTV survillance cameras, electronic card access system, 4 swimming pools, lawn tennis and squash courts, 4 gymnasiums, 4 Generators, security patrol team, water fountains, panoramic lifts, club house and bar. Each apartment, fully funished has prepaid PHCN meter, microwave, a/c, washing machine and dryer.

LagosMet Rainy Season: My do’s and don’ts for motorists and passengers – How to survive the rainy season.

How much? Okay, it’s VERY cheap and affordable especially for salary earners, students and self-employed individuals (no be me talk am o). Each of the 2-bedroom apartments goes for 45m if the buyer is paying cash and 50m if payment is by installment. 3 and 4-bedroom apartments go for 65m and 85m respectiviely with 5% discount if it is a cash deal (jale jale). To all the alaroros, they are closing approximately 1 out of 10 enquiries (I mean 10 phone calls lead to 1 sure deal). Zenith and IBTC are the risk takers. There are only 42×2br flats, 84×3br maissionette, 34×4-storeyed of 8/4-br flats each, 8×4-storeyed blocks of 6×2-br maissonettes, 1×3-storeyed block of 6×2-br flats. If your calculator isn’t displaying 1004 total at the moment then you probably aren’t ICAN certified!

Is it worth it?

I can’t answer that, but logically, I think it is. The location (proximity to important places) makes it even more valuable than Lekki Phase 1 – VGC and beyond. In the heart of Victoria Island, with less traffic and more options (roads, clubs, hotels, work e.t.c.) I think it’s the best bargain anywhere on the Island. Former residents can bear me witness. Surrounding buildings include Civic Centre, Law School, Sweet Sensation, Cactus, BJay’s Hotel, Jazz Club e.t.c to mention a handful. If you can, then buy and rent it out.

ps: This is the biggest single transaction in the real estate business in Nigeria.

LagosMet: My problem, for aproximately 5,000 people in one huge compound, no medical facilities, no creche, no school just a bar and a night club? C’mon.

Trackback: Is your home crumbling? As buildings keep crumbling, the Lagos State Government has reacted by visiting suspected and reported buildings, marking them X and bringing them down to ground zero. If you suspect any such building, please report to the authorities (no toll-free 911, sorry!)

Lagos Strike: BRT unlikely to be available this evening

NO BRT TONIGHT! Rumours are spreading that the roads will be blocked as the Bus Rapid Transit operators threaten strike. The impact is likely to be felt on the Island (CMS and Racecourse) as people proceed to Obalende and alternatives. You are therefore likely to see lots of heads stranded at “bus stops”. If you are without your car, you should do yourself a favour and “marry” someone who isn’t, at least for today.

If you drove to work, then try to help a fellow Lagosian.

I hate traffic so I’m as good as asleep till 10 p.m.

E go be.

UPDATE:

Some drivers eventually showed up helping to decongest the long queues at terminals. Hopefully the rumour should end there as many people have become acustomed to leaving their cars at home in favour of the BRT. Let’s see what the News has to say tonight regarding this.

Safe journey y’all.

Lagos Laws: Alms to beggars, loittering & littering can lead to jail.

Giving of alms to beggars – 1 month imprisonment. Wandering in any premises – 3 month to 1 year imprisonment. Suspected thief with no proven means of livelihood, 3 months to 1 year imprisonment. It is an offence to dispose of scrap papers, newspapers, sweet wrappers, fruit skins, water sachets or similar refuse anywhere except little bins within the Lagos Central Business district. Offenders will be liable to a fine of not less than N1, 000.00

Just imagine me, cruising my nano, ‘jeje-ly’, it’s hot and my a/c is blowing flames so I decide to feel the cool breeze only cos as hungry as I am, Gala has been banned, I’m watching out for “red” bikes coming too close too, cos LagosMet said it’s not safe (security-wise), Just in front of me, I see a “check point”, my heart is beating fast cos I left home without my license,  I narrowly escaped and see a child beggar right in front, another trying to clean my windscreen, I decide to help (not that kind of lagos erotic help o!) and then remember that I could end up in jail this very night… yet Lagos is not the worst place to work. Joor oh! Mi o le fi handcuffs she bracelet o!

THE PUBLICATION

In the initiative to re-enforce Law and Order around the Lagos Central Business District, the Lagos State Government hereby draws the attention of the general public to the following PUBLIC DISORDER OFFENCES, contained in the CRIMINAL CODE AND ENVIROMENTAL SANITATION LAW 2003 LAWS OF LAGOS STATE and the sanction that maybe imposed upon conviction.

1    BEGGING FOR OR GATHERING OR COLLECTING ALMS IS PROHIBITED WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT:

1    Outer and Inner Marina
2    Broad Street
3    Balogun Street
4    Martins Street
5    Nnamdi Azikiwe Street
6    Eko Bridge
7    Carter Bridge
8    Apongbon Street
9    Idumagbo Avenue
10    Campbell Street
11    Breadfruit Street
12    Tinubu Street
13    Abibu Oki Street
14    Oke Olowogbowo Street
15    Davis Street
16    Adeniji Adele Street
17    Church Street
18    Docemo Street
19    Odunlami Street
20    Iga Idunganran Street
21    Ereko Street
22    Kakawa Street
23    Campos Street
24    Bamgbose Street
25    Alli Balogun Street
26    Ehingbeti (Marina Foreshore)
27    Ebute Ero
28    Force Road
29    King George Road
30    All Flyovers in Lagos Island

It is an offence to give alms to any person begging for alms within the Lagos Central Business District.

Offenders will be liable to one (1) month imprisonment and suffer punishment for subsequent offences.
www.LagosMet.com
2    Every Person found wandering in or upon or near any premises or in any road or highway or any place adjacent thereto or in any public place within the Lagos Central Business District at such time or under such circumstances as to lead to the conclusion that such a person is there for an illegal or disorderly purpose shall be deemed to be a rouge or vagabond and is guilty of a misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for three (3) months and one (1) year upon subsequent conviction.
3    Every suspected person or reputed thief who has no visible means of subsistence and cannot give an account of himself found within the Lagos Central Business District shall be deemed to be a rouge or vagabond and is guilty of a misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for three (3) months and one (1) year upon subsequent conviction.

1.    Extortion by tout or miscreants is prohibited on all streets within the Lagos Central Business District.

2.    LITTERING OF THE STREETS WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT IS PROHIBITED.

It is an offence to dispose of scrap papers, newspapers, sweet wrappers, fruit skins, water sachets or similar refuse anywhere except little bins within the Lagos Central Business district. Offenders will be liable to a fine of not less than N1, 000.00

3.    DEFECATING OR URINATING IN THE DRAINAGE OR OPEN SPACES WITHIN THE LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT.

It is an offence to defecate or urinate in the drainage or open spaces within the Lagos Central Business District. Offenders will be prosecuted and upon conviction liable to a fine between N5, 000.00 & N 10,000.00.

4.    STRUCTURE ON ROAD SET BACK & ABUSE OF OPEN SPACE AND WALK PATH.

It is an offence to erect any structure on the road set back and walk path of any highway within the Lagos Central Business District and any open space within the district.

No person shall use any road set back or walk path or open space within the Lagos Central Business District for a mechanic workshop.
Offenders will be prosecuted and upon conviction liable to a fine between N5,000.00 & N10,000.00.

Persons convicted of any of these offences maybe ordered to render community service under the provisions of the Law.

Eko o ni baje o!

BIG thanks to Chinwe for putting this together.

Joke of the day. Let’s visit the court of law as this grannie is being tried for disobeying the laws of the state…

In an initiative to re-enforce Law and Order around the Lagos Central Business District, the Lagos State Government hereby draws the attention of the general public to the following PUBLIC DISORDER OFFENCES, contained in the STREET TRADING AND ILLEGAL MARKETS (PROHIBITION) Law 2003 Laws of Lagos State and the sanction that maybe imposed on conviction:

1.    No person shall sell or hark or expose for sale any goods, wares, articles or things or offer services whether or not from a stationary position along the walkway or on any of the following Streets within the Lagos Central Business District:

1    Outer and Inner Marina
2    Broad Street
3    Balogun Street
4    Martins Street
5    Nnamdi Azikiwe Street
6    Eko Bridge
7    Carter Bridge
8    Apongbon Street
9    Idumagbo Avenue
10    Campbell Street
11    Breadfruit Street
12    Tinubu Street
13    Abibu Oki Street
14    Oke Olowogbowo Street
15    Davis Street
16    Adeniji Adele Street
17    Church Street
18    Docemo Street
19    Odunlami Street
20    Iga Idunganran Street
21    Ereko Street
22    Kakawa Street
23    Campos Street
24    Bamgbose Street
25    Alli Balogun Street
26    Ehingbeti (Marina Foreshore)
27    Ebute Ero
28    Force Road
29    King George Road
30    All Flyovers in Lagos Island

2    Sleeping in the Market place or on all flyovers within the Lagos Central Business District is prohibited.

Any Person who contravenes to this Law shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine of N 5,000.00 and N 15,000.00 or/and a term of imprisonment of between six months and one year.

Persons convicted of any of these offences maybe ordered to render community service under the provisions of the Law.

I kept my promise. The last of the series to hit you tomorrow.

Lagos Island traffic fines (Min: 50,000 naira – Max: 150,000 naira – plus imprisonment) I tried so hard not to post this on All Fool’s Day, I guess the day’s almost over now, but post I must, and I have. Here’s Part I. Part 2 should be out tomorrow, and on Friday, Part 3. I’m too lazy to type, sorry, I have to seek the help of friends. They aren’t really “new” anyway, I guess the publication was only to sanitize the public who find themselves in Lagos Island, but of course, as you and I know, someone must “chop” and someone must “drop suntin”. Take am!

PUBLIC ATTENTION: LAGOS LAW AND ORDER

In the initiative to re-enforce Law and Order around the Lagos Central Business District, the Lagos State Government hereby draws the attention of the general public to the following PUBLIC DISORDER OFFENCES, contained in the CONTROL OF TRAFFIC (SPECIAL PROVISIONS) EDICT 1978 which by virtue of Section 315 of the 1999 constitution is now a Law of the Lagos State House of Assembly and the ROAD TRAFFIC LAW 2003 LAWS OF LAGOS STATE and the sanctions that maybe imposed upon conviction:

1 PROHIBITION OF PARKING ALONG LAGOS CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT

No vehicle is allowed to park or pick passengers along the following highways within the Lagos Central Business District:

1 Outer and Inner Marina

2 Broad Street

3 Balogun Street

4 Martins Street

5 Nnamdi Azikiwe Street

6 Eko Bridge

7 Carter Bridge

8 Apongbon Street

9 Idumagbo Avenue

10 Campbell Street

11 Breadfruit Street

12 Tinubu Street

13 Abibu Oki Street

14 Oke Olowogbowo Street

15 Davis Street

16 Adeniji Adele Street

17 Church Street

18 Docemo Street

19 Odunlami Street

20 Iga Idunganran Street

21 Ereko Street

22 Kakawa Street

23 Campos Street

24 Bamgbose Street

25 Alli Balogun Street

26 Ehingbeti (Marina Foreshore)

27 Ebute Ero

28 Force Road

29 King George Road

30 All Flyovers in Lagos Island

www.LagosMet.Com

Any Person who fails to comply with the provisions of this Law would have his vehicle impounded by the authorized persons and shall be liable upon conviction to a fine and or term of imprisonment.

2 Abandoned vehicles

If you are the owner of a vehicle left on the highway within the Lagos central Business District for an unreasonable long period of time, you are to pay the following as cost of towing

Type of Vehicle                               Amount Payable

1 Articulated vehicles                  N 150,000.00

2 Empty trailers and Tanker          N 100,000.00

3 Lorries and Tippers                   N 50,000.00

4 High Capacity Buses                 N 50,000.00

5 Mini Buses, Jeeps and Cars        N 50,000.00

In addition, for abandoning the vehicle, the owner will be liable to fine of N 50,000.00 or (70,000.00 for commercial vehicle) or 3months imprisonment.

Persons convicted of any of the offences maybe ordered to render community service under the provisions of the Law.

Joke (reality) of the day: This toon right here (got this off facebook)