Interswitch website warning!

Don’t fall for the Interswitch ATM/Debit Card Scam!

This scam (perpetrated by our Yahoo Yahoo! boys who are fast running out of options – www.419eater.com) has been around for a while now especially since the inception of webpay which made e-commerce possible in Nigeria. The ATM/Debit Card is the only equivalent of the Western Credit Card only that it is prepaid. Naturally, you’d expect the ATM card to be very secure since you need a PIN and a physical provider (Interswitch, E-tranzact) card with preference for Interswitch (being more popular), but websites such as Buyright.biz, rechargenigeria.com, reloadng.com and deoluakinyemi all allow you to pay for goods and services from the comfort of your internet-connected device, just by punching your card number and PIN. In some cases, you get an SMS confirming the transaction, and in some other cases (especially if you are yet to subscribe to SMS alerts) you don’t get any alert. On interswitch’s official website (http://interswitchng.com), you could even transfer from one interswitch card account to another (not sure if this is still possible). Our fraudsters promptly rose to the occasion to explore the holes in the loops, GTB was one of the worst hit, and they reacted instantly by blocking the use of their ATM cards on websites.

It’s quite unfortunate that till today, many still fall for this trap. Look at the mail below: a scammer sends a mail asking you to click on a link to interswitch’s website. Do not click on links (especially masked links) but instead copy and paste into the browser, if it’s not Interswitch’s official website, then it’s pure scam, delete the mail. (http://allafrica.com/stories/200704190048.html)

Interswitch Logo

Also, do not be deceived by the sender’s address, anyone can mask the sender address. If you wish to reply at all, always click on the reply button. Most scam mails usually ask you to reply to a different email address other than the one that was used to send the mail (e.g. sender: expiry@interswitchng.com please reply to: scammer@gmail.com). When they do provide websites, their fake websites mirror the original one (as seen in fake MTN and Zenith Bank job scam sites), sometimes, some cheap-ass scammers use free sites and folders within folders of sub-domains such as http://money.myfreewebsites.com/bank/scammers/fraud/?@www.interswitchng.com/register – you should easily “nab” these ones (I repeat, do not click on links in emails directly, always do copy and paste into google search with the word scam before it and see for yourself, trust your instinct).

LagosMet: My take on this is this, always suspect anything that comes to you by mail or SMS (better to be a pessimist on the internet). Take a line of the content or title of the message, google it with the word scam and see if you get similar results. Remember, if it’s too good to be true then it’s scam.

The mail:

Dear Interswitch Card Holder,

We are carrying out a fraud prevention on our system,
and you’ve been required to register all your ATM card(s) Online Immediately
for security reasons, and to prevent your ATM card(s)
from fraudulent activities.

Be notified, that all ATM card(s) must be registered, such as your
(DEBIT CARDS, X-CHANGE CARDS, and CASH CARDS)

Please Register your ATM cards now by CLICKING HERE and then do as required.

(Failure to verify your ATM Card(s) details correctly will lead to account suspension)

This Update is compulsory
If you do not register your ATM card(s) immediately,
you will no longer be able to use your card(s) on our ATM machines
or for ATM transactions and your card(s) will be cancelled or terminated.

Thank you.

=======================================================

Breakdown:

1. Prevent your card from fraudulent activities (and he’s planning to defraud you already)

2. All cards must be registered (are cards not already registered? A wise man will give the bank a call, not even interswitch)

3. Failure to verify will lead to account suspension (all ATM cards have their expiry dates, you can’t even do any online transaction without entering your debit card’s expiry date, why the rush?)

4. Glorious threats (this is the first scam mail without the magic word called “guarantee”, are you scared to lose your card? As long as your money is safe). Never ever reveal your PIN to anyone.

Finally, Interswitch should please release a list of approved websites so that users can verify which websites are registered and which ones are phishing/scam websites. If there was a list like http://interswitchng.com/list_of_approved_websites/ then the world would be a much better place for scammers and potential, unsuspecting victims like you and I. This modus operandi applies to other sites such as ebay, paypal and many bank websites worldwide. You don’t want to lose your hard earned money in this period of recession, its credit crunch period for scammers as well. Be watchful, be careful, be prepared, be informed.

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Governor Fashola

In Simon’s article, Understanding the Fashola Phenomenon, the relationship between Fashola and Tinubu clearly explains why Lagos is moving forward. He also compared the governor with other peers who have embarked on white elephant projects and like their predecessors have failed to make an impact. Please read on…

“Anytime someone pours encomium on Lagos State Governor Babatunde Fashola, I smile, mischievously. I’m usually amused because… Okay, I’ll come back to that shortly. A few days ago, I was, as usual, discussing Nigeria with a friend. He recently had a terrible experience with a government institution. “We can never get it right in this country,” he said in frustration. “Nigeria is doomed,” he proclaimed on top of his voice. I looked at him and said: “Fashola.” I could feel his anger melt down. Reluctantly, he replied: “You may have a point there.” What did I mean by “Fashola”? No, I was not saying Fashola was about to solve all our problems. But under two years, he has demonstrated a sense of urgency, commitment and focus. It is not just about the change he is bringing to Lagos, but also the promise he has shown. He is showing us clearly that we are not living in a hopeless society, that things can change and change for good. Fashola has renewed my hope that a new Nigeria is possible.
It is very easy to think Nigeria is doomed. I have agonised over this doom most of my adult life. It is very difficult to see hope. We hardly see the silver lining in a dark cloud; rather, we see a dark lining in a silver cloud, as someone said years ago. We are so frustrated and pessimistic that we don’t even see the opportunities and prospects that gawk at us. All we can see are problems and pains. You cannot blame the Nigerian. We appear to be helpless and hopeless. We are like a sheep without a shepherd. Therefore, whenever someone appreciates Fashola, I smile mischievously, as if saying: “Didn’t you say it is finished with Nigeria?” And believe it or not, there are a hundred Fasholas – educated, exposed, committed, focused and visionary – all over Nigeria who do not have the opportunity to shine because of our peculiar political structure.
The major difference, however, is that someone placed merit above political expediency and stuck out his neck for Fashola. I’m talking about Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the immediate past governor of Lagos State. Having ruled Lagos for eight turbulent years, during which he kept battling with the President Olusegun Obasanjo-led PDP troops who were hell-bent on capturing Lagos at any cost, Tinubu could easily have handed over to another politician. There were many of them around him, pressing him left, right and centre. He chose, instead, to throw his weight behind a certain Babatunde Raji Fashola who was unknown outside the Lagos corridors of power. Why did Tinubu settle for Fashola? Why did he choose to gamble on someone who had never been a councillor, much less a council chairman, in a society where we make jest of people like Pat Utomi because their political CV is not intimidating?
Tinubu opted for someone whose first exercise of executive power would be in the office of the governor of Lagos, the most chaotic and the most strategic state in Nigeria. Why? My guess is that Tinubu saw something in him which some of us did not see. My guess is that having laid out a beautiful plan for Lagos which he could not fully implement because of political expediency in the Obasanjo years, Tinubu was sincerely committed to getting a rightful successor who would carry out the assignment to a logical conclusion. He put merit above merriment, purpose above politics, reason above rhyme. I wish Obasanjo could honestly say the same regarding his own choice of successor.
Why is Fashola making progress? This should provide good PhD research topics for political scientists and maybe economists. Since I am a student of Governance and Development, I will look at the Lagos Model from my own bias. My write-up today should help us understand the Fashola Phenomenon and put things in proper perspective. We can then ask: what can the rest of Nigeria learn from this? The major obstacle to good governance in Nigeria, in my own opinion, is politics. You can replace that word with “politicking”. Many times, we have managed to produce good people in government but they end up as failures. Why? I suggest: the impediments caused by politicking. For you to succeed as a leader in Nigeria, you must get your politics and policy right. You may have good policies, but without the right politics you will fail. No matter how much we dislike politicians, we need them. You can never have politics without politicians. That is one. On the other hand, you may get all your politics right – pleasing some people, pummelling others, perfecting all the intrigues – but the society will never move forward if you do not have the right policies. You, therefore, cannot escape a happy marriage of politics and policy if you are to be an achiever.
Now here comes the Lagos Model. Fashola is the “technocrat” who handles governance, the finer details. Tinubu is the “godfather” who handles the politics, you know, the murky waters. They complement each other. Tinubu himself is a technocrat, to be sure, but the politician took the better part of him during his tenure as he had to fight off the PDP hawks. If Fashola begins to play politics today, governance will suffer. If he was interested in politicking, he could never have removed the traders from Oshodi. He could never have chased away those yellow buses from the highway. In Nigerian politics, the critical mass of voters will be found in markets and at motor parks. The real voters and foot soldiers are petty traders, bus drivers, conductors and touts. The conventional wisdom is that if you control the motor parks, you control the thugs; if you control the thugs, you control the polling booth; if you control the polling booth, you control the votes! That is why associations such as National Union of Road Transport Workers (NURTW) and Road Transport Employers Association of Nigeria (RTEAN) are very strategic to politicians and there is always a fierce battle to control them.
By taking these tough decisions, Fashola would have been committing political suicide. But, no, there is Tinubu to clean up the “mess” politically. This frees Fashola to retain his focus without much distraction. It is like in football: you have a defensive midfielder and an attacking midfielder – the former, like Tinubu, handles the defensive part of the job while the latter, like Fashola, is freed and creates goals for his team. Politics and policy, like we said, must be happily married if we are to enjoy good governance in this country. Fashola has never made any attempt to discredit his predecessor. I hear a lot of PDP people say: “It’s Tinubu’s programme that Fashola is implementing.” Pure rubbish. One of the biggest obstacles to our development is this mentality that you must discredit your predecessor and discontinue his programmes so that people would not say you don’t have your own ideas. Pure rubbish. Government is a continuum. If anything, policy reversals have done a lot of damage to the country, as we can see at the federal level.

Fashola and S.A.Ferguson

President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua came to office in May 2007, and – based on the advice of people who probably had selfish motives – he suspended the power projects, cancelled the Lagos-Kano rail contract and reversed the privatisation of refineries. Nearly two years after, Yar’Adua is going back to the same power and rail projects – and he now wants to privatise the refineries again. Precious time wasted for nothing! Does he know the billions of dollars and invaluable productivity we have lost as a result of this? Why must he reverse policies for the fun of it? All the talk about 6,000 megawatts today is based on the projects Obasanjo initiated in 2006! So why waste our time? This is very common all over Nigeria – new governors abandoning critical projects for selfish reasons. Fashola has proved to be wiser than most.
But can we replicate the Lagos Model all over Nigeria? For instance, would Dr. Chimaroke Nnamani have performed better as Enugu governor if he had faced governance and allowed Jim Nwobodo to handle the politics? That is the problem with modelling. What works in Sokoto may not work in Akwa Ibom and what works in Oyo may fail in Kogi. However, the fundamental truth cannot be altered – that “politics and policy” must be delicately balanced, happily married, if we are to make progress. Whether one person should handle the two or there should be “separation of powers” between the “politician” and the “technocrat” is what we can debate more extensively. However, the Lagos Model can work for Nigeria as witnessed under Obasanjo administration. Obasanjo, though a terrible politician who was obviously power drunk, managed to handle the politics while “technocrats” such as Prof. Chukwuma Soludo, Mrs Oby Ezekwesili, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Mr. Bode Agusto, Dr. Mansur Muhtar and Mallam Nasir el-Rufai went about the business of governance. Obasanjo’s battle with his own contradictions might have discredited his government, but we certainly made some progress under his government.
Can we then toy with the idea of a “politician” President and a “technocratic” VP in 2011? Technocrats have their failings, just like politicians too, so we need a balance. Somehow, I think Nigeria’s redemption will benefit tremendously by learning from the Lagos Model. It’s a phenomenon we should give serious consideration to, as we battle to create a new Nigeria.”

Joke of the day: African Remix Video (Beyonce put a ring on it) All the single ladies spoof

and Don’t put that ring on it (Spoof Video)

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Buildings Collapse, monthly!

11 die as 3-storey building returned to ground zero in Mushin… Wait a minute. The Government is Corrupt! The police is Corrupt! Lecturers and teachers are Corrupt! Agents are corrupt! Managers are corrupt! Pastors are Corrupt! Civil servants are corrupt! Politicians are Corrupt! They are all brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, friends, colleagues, relatives and rivals but they all steal. Now tell me who is not corrupt? Only people who are closer to money can steal, people who force their way into those region to steal are known as armed robbers. People are quick to point fingers but when you reverse the case, they do even worse.

Government officials embezzle public funds, police extort and accept bribe, lecturers accept stuffs in cash or kind, agents defraud, managers inflate, pastors preach money only for the sake of their pockets, civil servants cant depend on salaries and have to make you pay whatever you can, keep me away from politicians, please. The list is endless. They must feed mouths, they must represent but some innocent people must DIE as a consequence.

When funds are not available, people die, when someone has to pay all he made for the day to corrupt LASTMA officials, someone sleeps hungry, someone is forced to steal, someone can have sex for apples… Though it happens all around the world, the emphasis on material things in Lagos probably makes it one of the worst cities in this regard. Many imported drugs, electronics, fabrics e.t.c. are substandard, why? because people want to make more profit. They simply want you to pay more and get less and short-change you. They don’t care if you die, afterall 140 million (possibly more) other Nigerians will patronize them. We have a few wealthy people and many rich ones, well respected by the media, church, banks, government, Police and the Embassies regardless of how they came about the riches (legal, illegal or ritual means).

Why am I mad today? Time and again, we’ve been confronted with news of lecturers sleeping with ladies for grades, police extorting money from motorists, contractors bribing government officials…. and buildings collapsing. Of all the grave offenses against humanity, I think this is probably the worst. I would rather have you take my money and spare my life. Why should I lose both at shelter point? When I say structures I’m referring to roads, bridges, homes, drainage, schools e.t.c. People just want to cut costs (both the owner and more often, the contractor) by reducing the quantity and quality of Cement, Iron rods and many other building materials. That’s why you see 2 year old roads that look much like some gully erosion in rural areas. All hell is let loose when the rains return and then you see people living the life no right thinking human being would think of.

Is sleeping under the bridge now safer from staying at home? Look around your house, do an inspection, trace those crumbs you sweep away every morning, those holes you patched, those red sands turning cake, cracked walls (pillars worse) exposed foundation, soaked walls, extensive flooding e.t.c. You cannot struggle to feed yourself and your family yet struggle to close your eyes, expecting the walls to give in to pressure from corrupt planners. I think now is the time to fight corruption at all levels. Building plans are approved and buildings are left at the mercy of corrupt people, without quality and safety inspection. Landlords (some have 100 such houses in Lagos alone) immediately contact equally corrupt agents and unsuspecting Lagosians move in, just to either run away at some time after having spent a lot patching things up, or lose their lives sometime later.

It’s time to start making alternative plans to “stay alive” if you wish. Newly completed buildings have crumbled in the past and it won’t be surprising if more buildings start to crumble as the rains eventually descend on coastal Lagos. Listen to your instincts, if you think your home isn’t safe, it definitely will collapse or sink.

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My Tata Nano

Tata Nano and Lagos State, will it survive? A review.

Kia Picanto, I10, QQ, Maruti 800, Nano… Namaste! I think “we” know ourselves when it comes to class. You butterish ones, I ain’t talking to y’all, na we dem dem I dey follow yarn. I know you can afford the Smartcars ForTwos and cohorts but you won’t go near this one I can bet. Why? Cos it’s so dang cheap! When I’m thinking Mini-Car to office every Lagos day, you are thinking of driving it down the golf course only. Wait a minute? Even if GTB, UBA, Oceanic, PHB, Zenith and Intercontinental all “collabo” to donate this “ride” (yes, ride, not motor) to my pitiable cause, am I ready to put my one and only life into the driver seat and hit Western Avenue? Yeparipa, come with me and let’s inspect my dream toy. Please advise rightly, put yourself in my shoes, be thy brother’s keeper, even if I can’t be of “help” to someone else.

The Red Nano, high and cheap

I’ve cruised a few really low (in terms of clearance, not height) cars on the streets of Las Gidi in the past. Volkswagen Bug and Kia Picanto to be precise and I know what it takes having one as your only “donkey” (remember Tico Daewoo?). Not nice at all. Every day you fight a battle against three foes; flood, bumps (including speed breakers) and pot-holes and you just never get to win. For a roadside mechanic who “knows his job” your sump and other car parts closer to the ground are bound to drill holes in your pocket (you should know by now that I’m more of a pessimist). Okay, nor vex, back to the topic. I did not say hatchback, read well, I said minicar sometimes called SmartCar so if you are thinking Swift, Rio or even Golf or Mini then you are getting it all mixed up because I’m not even talking about the Benz SmartCar or other look alikes but about these sub 1.1-llitre (mostly 800cc or less) engine minicars, usually with four doors, low ground clearance and looks that remind you of the Pocket PC. Unlike most SmartCars, these minicars ship with 4 doors.

Suzuki's $4,000 Maruti 800

As you are reading this, I just got me a wooden kolo (little bank) to save as much as I can before the Nano finds its way to the hungry Lagos Market.

QQ3 not a hit in Lagos

I’m trying to imagine my Nano speeding past the Cayenne and LR3 on the third mainland bridge, defying the laws of Lagoon breeze and Lagos Madness. I’m not scared cos I’ve seen the Chery QQ3 and Hyundai I10 do 100 on the freeway. With 160 cm of height and 18cm of ground clearance, the Nano is more suited to the rigours of Lagos roads compared with QQ3’s 12.5cm, but with a rear engine I think i’m covered for balance. If you know what I mean, the typical Kia Sportage stands 7.7 inches (20 cm) from the ground. Compared with Maruti 800’s 800cc engine, my nano has a little above 600 and with a 2-cylinder engine, I’m eager to hear what it’ll sound like (keke Napep), hopefully the horn should compensate for the bike-like sound on the road. The electronic engine management should get the best out of our tiny set-up including fuel consumption. A gallon (4 litres) can take you as far as almost 90km. Besides, you only need 1,050 (one thousand and fifty) naira to fill your 15-litre tank! QQ3 has 38 litres. Don’t mention, I can’t wait for the luxury version so I’ll go with the standard version which has no a/c. Now if I were to “bus” to Ibadan, I would be looking at 500 naira to and maybe 450 naira fro (on the average, usually more). That’s almost my full tank and I only need half my tank to drive down to Molete and back but Lagostically thinking, I’d pick 3 other passengers up at Berger (@ 150 naira per seat, not butts) for 450 naira and do the same on the return trip… with 900 naira, that’s more fuel than my tank can hold. Who says having your brand new car doesn’t make sense? As for parking space, you shouldn’t have a problem, 2 nanos can park in your typical Volvo 740 parking space.

For the techies:

Th!nk city, Mini look-alike

The Tata Nano has  a rear-wheel drive, all-aluminium, two-cylinder, 623 cc, 33 PS, multi point fuel injection petrol (MPFI) engine. It’s a petrol engine of course. Rear wheel drive, rear engine configuration means that the front end is very light, and you would not feel the need for power steering. The powertrain of the Tata Nano is set in the rear. Maximum power and maximum torque is  35 bhp @ 5500 rpm and 4.8 kgm @ 3000 rpm, respectively. In terms of performance, the Nano can go from 0 to 60 kph in approximately in 8 Seconds, hitting a top speed of 105 kph. I bet you dont want to swerve or switch double lanes at that point.

On RubMinds.com, a poster from Ireland said she wouldn’t travel long distances due to traffic and fuel scarcity on the expressway, the kerb weight of 600kg didn’t go down either due to strong winds and seating capacity means no lift of any kind to Orobo people.

Warranty on the Nano is 18 months or 24,000 Km, please don’t raise your hopes. Joor oh! Mi o le fi Keke Napep le Trailer o!

$16,000 Smart - the popular one

The summary of it all is that the Nano will work in Lagos but you must not expect too much from it (at least for the price). Not a bad car at all and at 500,000 naira a unit, it’s much better than buying a tokunbo car. There is currently no support but I think Tata should set up big time in Lagos sometime next year after fulfilling their promise to Indians. There is a chance that more and more cheaper cars can be manufactured or are we just paying too much for some cars that aren’t worth that much, like mobile phones? Will the Nano sell? Are you kidding me? Expect to see Glo Nano 100,000 cars Rule and Win Promo Bye-bye to one-chance or crash helmet… He he he. I’m not asking you to donate cash, please donate yarns, should I save or should I just buy a plot of Land at Mowe (25k per month)? Jaiho ooo!

Recessity is the mother of Invention

In Francis Dike’s words, Lagos Naija are you ready for this?

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Deviation.

Give it up for Google!

Poor Yahoo

I decided to check some Alexa rankings today, having done the same on statsbrain.com last week. Sometime last month, Google topped Yahoo on the charts and I took it for granted only to return the following day to see Yahoo! Back on top. With Google acquiring and buying startups of all sorts, I knew it was only a matter of time before they overthrew Yahoo. Is Yahoo bowing to the Credit Crunch (they must be all over Obama’s face right now)?. Another thing I’ve noticed so many bots now use gmail or better still mail.google.com. In the past, yahoo was more bot friendly. Also feedburner moved to the google domain… The long and short of it is that Google has done all within it’s power to attain the status of the world’s MOST VISITED SITE and is likely to keep that for a while, or maybe permanently. Will Facebook be the next threat? Or Youtube? Or Twitter?

Okay let’s wait and see.

By the way, the dollar closed at an exchange rate of 202 naira as Mey Dollars enjoy the “festive” period while it lasts. They buy from you for 185 but sell for 200 naira as dollar becomes increasingly scarce. Mixed fortunes innit?

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The art of beating the crunch with Kidnapping

Work from home or beat the Credit Crunch in Lagos?

Now the world is screaming disaster, recession, crunch, bla bla bla, but I did tell you earlier that some jobs won’t feel the crunch in a long time. I’m not talking about established sectors such as the Health, Teaching and food industry in general, I’m talking about self-made or skill-based jobs.

I’m looking at Lagos specifically, though without research to prove this, I just think some people won’t lose jobs but will instead get richer. They are:

1. Teaching: Hopefully they get their pay rise, they have really safer jobs as parents must indeed seek other means of providing the neck-breaking school fees even when they have no job. This includes primary, secondary, tertiary and private instructors (including ICT certifications, professional and foreign exams).

2. Oil Marketing: Of course, they’ve made the quickest money in the past and are not about giving up anytime soon and with government policies leaving us at their mercy, I think they’ve only just begun. God gave them strong hands and fingers to milk us hard till our “teats” turn red right before the very eyes of the Government… “God pass dem”

3. Transportation: Okay Fashola’s reforms aren’t probably favoring owners of Okada, Danfo, Molue and Keke Napep but things are still very okay for people in this sector. The cost of a low quality crash helmet is somewhere around 1,800 naira but even with fuel prices reduced to 65 naira, trust Lagos, prices of things NEVER go down even if world prices crash to an all time low, they’d rather reach for the Everest in Lagos.

4. Health: be it some herbal guy, a “Chemist” or some certified group of peeps, someone somewhere somehow must make that money cos “health is wealth”. People MUST take care of their bodies or die prematurely. Accidents are inevitable and to the advantage of Nurse, Doctors and health workers generally, the crunch means little. Gynae’s still make bucks, and Surgeons (Cosmetic? well they make bursts of bucks occasionally) too but no matter how crunchy the recession is, people must have sex and that’s why sex products sell the most. You know what I’m talking? Dildos, tightening creams, enlargement formulas, horse power mixtures, spanish flies, pheromones, just name it (you know the red light districts dontcha! – Allen Avenue and Co)! Lest I forget, General Hospital, Lagos pays Doctors on House Job around 77,000 naira a month. Luth pays well over 110,000 naira. Doctors, una get mouth! I think Death has to come in here as well. People still spend a lot on burial ceremonies and mortuaries are still filled up cos like births, deaths are natural. Coffin makers, vault sellers, corpse transporters and private mortuaries, cemetaries and organizers are making their bucks, as usual.

5. Real Estate and HR Consulting: I grouped these together they are hot like fire! People are constantly moving, changing locations due to change in status, security and safety, flood, road network, family expansion, income dictates, e.t.c. and as usual Agents are constantly inflating agreement fees and lease prices are at an all time high in all locations within (and beyond) Lagos. Some fear this sector will crash after the stock disaster but I sincerely doubt this. Lagos Land laws adhere to the 100-year general long lease status of the C-of-O (Certificate of Ownership) but people want this to be lower to help cut down on the skyrocketing costs of acquiring landed property. HR Consulting is also helping companies select specific “good-to-go” job seekers requiring less training and ready to fit into the system. As usual they are getting in some cases up to 40% of the employee’s salary as agreed between the recruiting agency and the employer. You get the picture? Ain’t that crunchy?

6. Law. Hmmmm, often depicted as poor, tattered and unfortunate, some wise lawyers are still in business and are not going down any time soon. Criminal law is really dangerous as it involves politics but the ones really making huge money especially during this recession are those working on real estate projects. More profitable innit? Choose wisely!

7. Kidnapping: I hate to include this in the list but you’ll be amazed at the surging rate of kidnapping in the state (it’s really a kind of work-from-home sham). We just have to face it, it’s fast becoming a full-time job for job seekers who are scared to rob a bank. People go into churches, creches, schools, eateries, parks, malls and pick at random (or sometimes based on insider tip) a child or sometimes an adult (a wife, son, husband, daughter or even grannies) and demand millions of naira from the breadwinner (make no mistake…, this is rather common in the Niger Delta region where expatriates fall victim to hefty demands). They threaten brimstone and fire including killing the hostage but eventually negotiate a much lower price (usually inside 3 days) without the involvement of the police. Armed robbery is somewhere more dangerous than this though and is kinda like work-from-home too and is a predominant occurence in some parts of Lagos ranging from armed pick-pockets to phone snatchers, burglars and car snatchers! Sadly, many such cases are not reported to the police, or the media until victims experience a relapse. I hope we have strict laws in place addressing this aspect?

http://www.vanguardngr.com/content/view/25023/122/

8. Advertising: my, my, my, you expect to survive the credit crunch right? You need to push your brand into the market, make sales and take advantage of tilts in the battle ground. SO&U, CMC Connect, Rosaab and Vigeo are some of the top players. This helps the broadcasting media as radio, TV, print (including printers), internet e.t.c.

9. Webmasters/Developers: Yes! I’m not talking about bloggers or template-based (DIY) “consumers”, I mean people who build custom web based apps, sites, databases and communities. Undergraduates are likely to develop in this regard to bolster their chances of surviving after school as this skill-set is bound to increase in demand in coming years regardless of the credit Punch. If you are getting worried about job security, start going something web-wards, and you’ll be the one pitying your employer. LoL. Sounds funny but it’s the truth. There are many ideas out there, go see for yourself and don’t expect me to spoon-feed you all the time.

10. Lag Nollywood: Of course no matter how daft, movies still sell, if not, we wont keep having 10,000 home videos released per month. Artistes releasing albums or singles stand a much greater risk if they neither appeal to the market nor get radio and TV DJ’s (disk jockeys) to help give a push. To find yourself in the ranks of Jenifa or Yinka Ayefele requires sheer quality, hard work and perseverance but it is the producers/managers who go home with the bulk. Sign a promising artiste and you are sure to make your money someday. Timaya, I hail o!

11. Comedy/MCing: You won’t believe how much these guys rake in per week, and prices are ever going up. A comedian has a PS/3 or an X-box and plays this all week long. He has a manager (sometimes a dubious one who tells you his client is booked but if you pay double he can cancel the other appointment) who charge between 150,000 naira and 1 million naira for 2 hours! Basket Mouth, AY, abi i lie? It’s not that easy though, considering these guys have come a long way, but unlike Musicians, you are not allowed to repeat jokes as they quickly become dry. Tuface can sing African Queen from show to show but they must improvise otherwise, people won’t laugh, yet this is one of the most lucrative jobs in the Metropolis – not affected by the PUNCH!

12. Food/Fast Food: do people have a choice, they just have to eat. People are really cost conscious so it boils down to who provides the best meal, service at the lowest price. I’m not advertising but we already know who are taking their customers serious and who aren’t. As for food stuffs and Iya Basira’s I don’t think they have a problem with the recession anyway cos people just have to eat!

13. Private Security: People really don’t wanna die even in these hard times, people still eat, watch their health and want to be safe from the “owners”. Private security outfits are smiling to the bank, like HR Consultants.

Have to stop here, cos it’s well past my bedtime and I’m off to work in the morning (I love my job!). I’ll rate the “professions” tomorrow from first to last. I told you already, I’m a router with a tickling time bomb. Happy new week, and if you are on leave, wow, I envy you cos the rains have returned but please make money while you aren’t at work. It’s important.

The following links lend credence to this argument and can help you further in this regard.

http://education.yahoo.net/degrees/articles/featured_careers_that_can_fight_recession.html

http://education.yahoo.net/degrees/articles/featured_seven_surprising_stay_home_salaries.html

Victimization report by Cleen Foundation: http://www.cleen.org/LAGOS%20CRIME%20SURVEY.pdf

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