NNPC to neutralize fuel scarcity tomorrow Wed 6th May, Lagos
419, Automobiles, Escapades, Lagos, Places, Transportation, driving, injustice, military, situation report, traffic 2 Comments »
Is that what you're saying too?
It’s been a week already and NNPC has publicly declared that Filling Stations will ’smile no more’ come Thursday. Before you begin jumping up, News around is that the number of trucks loading fuel in Lagos has reduced from 180 to just 20. NNPC had better be telling me the truth. Methink they’ve just postponed another week of suffering and we can only suffer, smile and say thank you (more like UP – NEPA! - ring a bell?). Fuel scarcity is the Holy Grail of most Gas stations, they fast, pray, hope, believe and long for it, if they don’t get it, they create it. They need catalysts or some little assistance in the form of rumours at least and capitalize on it, the resulting mixture was what you saw some weeks ago. Honestly, I got tired of capturing those ugly scenes (not because they almost attacked me and nearly beat the building manager up, I’m not making this up, they brandished AK’s but for the defiance of the building manager) and black marketers lining up the roads with red, yellow, green and pink coloured fake, original or lukewarm petrol. I still did not buy from them anyway. I got full tank on Friday morning, at 70 naira per litre on the mainland and still have about half tank left in there.
With the current Rebrand Nigeria (a topic I’ve been avoiding since inception) adverts and announcements all over the radio, papers and everywhere, it was a perfect time to test the faith of Nigerians, Lagosians to start with. Like the advert said, insist on first-come first-served, join the queue bla bla bla (is it easier said than done). Check out the people shunting the queues, forcefully, with sirens, uniform, koboko, bulala and AK’s (I no dey point fingers) – they probably need no re-branding like we do. Dora, are you reading? 
This is what happens at filling stations now. The gates are closed and only one “fine-tuned” Machine works. This Pump has been badly programmed to cheat you, giving you about 7 litres instead of 10, but that’s no rip-off compared to Item number 7. Now to get into the gates (of course from the entry point, you pay the Agbero fee, about N100, then the gate fee, N50, to get in through the EXIT point, you pay N2,000 flat so you’re worth 20 stingy cars – all rebranding Nigeria). You then wait your turn as only one machine sells to hundreds of angry, impatient and unfriendly people. 3 dedicated people sell to you. 1 holds the nozzle, another determines whether you sell to cars, okadas, jerry cans or the powerful ones who come in through the exit, the last one holds the calculator and collects the money for the transaction. Okay, before the attendant fills your hungry tank, you pay N200 (sometimes N200 per N1000 sale) then they sell to you between N70 and N120 per litre. You look at the meter, not at the price because the calculator guy will tell you how much you are to pay as the machine might still be reading N65 per litre. You pay and deal is done. They are so honest they won’t ask you for tips, you drive out angrily cursing your luck, the government, the marketers and anyone who crosses your mind at that time, but when you get to the tail end of the queue and see black marketers doing a harder rip off, selling 20 litres at 5,000 naira, then you realise you didn’t lose much. Then you run into traffic in broad day light, it’s full tank so you decide to feel some A/C then you get home and read the papers and read about Ekiti Politics and ReBrand Nigeria. You shake your head and smile (in suffering), start your generator and think about tomorrow. Lasgidi babe.
If by 7th of May, 2009 queues are still this long, I’ll tell you what probably came up. But until then, I’ll be discussing -
Ebenezer Ajayi, killed by men of the force for wearing Camo and dumped at Area G, then Pen Cinema. http://thenationallife.com/2009/04/19/killed-by-soldiers/
Lagos Agents, house rents, land lease and property development scams.
The task force, clearing of Oshodi, Yaba and other major markets and progress report.
The Crash Helmet (better known as Element) and Lagos Okadas.
Lagos and the swine flu scare.
Meanwhile I’m presently reading the Ebola Monkey Man’s 419 archive http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/fanpage.htm, much similar to that of 419eater.com and 419baiter.com join me.
It’s 5:00pm, Arsenal Versus Man-U coming up soon but before then, you must fight through traffic. Wish you all the best.
