Happy New Year all,

It is my helpless displeasure to announce to you that you may be asked to ’strip naked’ to US Airport officials as from today. They may even request to shave your… erm… erm hair, so do yourself a big favour by shaving “that” before travelling. Wash your panties, dirty boxers and your bra, you may be asked to strip on a long queue (you know we Nigerians sabi travel). Don’t wear a Ralph suit and Oshodi boxers, same goes for stockings (socks). If you sweat a lot, please get some good quality cotton singlet. The search is “extensive” they say, so expect to spend at least 60 minutes upon arrival. Book the Taxi cab/ Appointment accordingly. The sky is our limit, we are constantly re-branding Nigeria. Although corruption has reduced (that’s what they said) we have moved up in other departments. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s suicide bombing issue, barring.

In Yahoo News, the words were politically, diplomatically and wisely selected but they mean “plenty”, see:

“Beginning Monday, air travelers flying into the United States from Saudi Arabia, Nigeria, Yemen and other “countries of interest” will be subjected to enhanced screening techniques, such as body scans, pat-downs and a thorough search of carry-on luggage. Passengers are subjected to special screening, including full body searches, in a designated area of the departure lounge, said the spokesman, Sultan Hasan.

My major concern is that I have a phobia for scanning machines. I know that frequent subjection to scanning rays could be detrimental to the human health on the long run. I have said time and before that I would someday consider changing Nationality and if tomorrow I claim to be Togolese, please don’t blame me, I’d rather be Ghanian than face this humiliation and phobia come true. Someone once said “There is NO single benefit of being a Nigerian” and I say to you today. There is at least one. No fuel, no jobs, no food, no water, no money, no reputation, no this, no that, but there is TIME (don’t hiss, every country has 24 hours and whatever you do with YOUR 24 hours…)! Dora, hope I made sense?

What a “perfect” way to start the new year!

Sources: http://rubminds.com/forums/world-news/nigerian-terrorist/

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_airline_security

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SHOCKING REVELATION: Sanusi may not be acting in our interest after all. Chances are that he and Waziri of the EFCC are only protecting northern interest and are being used as tools to carry out the northern agenda since Soludo removed the Arabic language from the Naira. Please read on:

Vanguard on 23 March 2009, did a world exclusive on alleged plot by a group of individuals to take over five banks in the country.

Two weeks ago, the new Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi sacked the chief executives and boards of five banks, therefore confirming our scoop of March 23.

The story:ANTI-CONSOLIDATION forces have regrouped with the hope of dismantling the structures and forcing a takeover of the top five banks in the country, Vanguard can now reveal. The grand plan by the group is to cause panic and uncertainty in the industry and make the target banks look unsafe for depositors

Meantime, indications emerged yesterday that the Federal Government may announce the names of a new Governor of the Central Bank (CBN) and the Auditor-General of the Federation (AGF) in April just a few weeks before the tenure of the incumbents run out.

However, the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) has expressed concern over what it described as the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and tasked the Central Bank (CBN) to make public information on causes of the development as well as the scale of the crisis.

Vanguard investigations revealed that the aim of the anti-consolidation forces is to cause loss of public confidence in the banking industry and compel the Federal Government to move in by injecting funds. Further, they ultimately plan to instigate government to take equity holdings in the targeted banks.

Vanguard gathered that the group at work is made up of former bank owners who lost out during the consolidation exercise, a powerful clique in the present government, and some aggrieved persons in three of the six geopolitical zones in the country who felt left out in the consolidation exercise.

Presidency sources disclosed that those who felt left out in the consolidation exercise are up in arms to recoup what they felt they lost during Obasanjo years.

Part of the plans hatched by the group is to ensure that the incumbent Governor of the Central Bank, Professor Chukwuma Soludo, does not get a second term. The plan is also to ensure that whatever gains consolidation recorded are discredited.

This, it was learnt, was meant to force the President to act quickly in the matter of appointment of a successor to Soludo as they anticipate that the president’s slow move may scuttle their dreams and cause the renewal of Soludo’s re-appointment for a second term.

The group’s second game plan is to make Nigerian banks look unsafe in the eye of the banking public. Part of the game is to spread rumours that some banks are unsound and are on the verge of collapse. They send out text messages to individuals and account holders passing wrong information on their target banks. At the moment, the group’s target is one of the high-flying new generation banks where they have sent out several messages.

New CBN Gov, Auditor-General to emerge April

The tenure of the CBN Governor, Professor Chukwuma Soludo and Auditor-General of the Federation, Mr. O. R. Ejenavi from Delta State will lapse in May 2009.

Naming nominees for the top jobs, according to a presidency source, will afford the Senate ample opportunity to work on them before they assume office.

While Soludo will complete his first term in office as CBN governor by May 29, Ejenavi will be due for retirement on age grounds on May 18.

However, among those being considered for the position of CBN governor include the Minister of National Planning, Dr Shamsuddeen Usman from Kano, who was a former Finance minister and deputy governor at the apex bank; another former CBN deputy governor, Obadiah Mailafia from Nassarawa, Mallam Isa Hayatudeen from Borno, a former managing director of FSB International Bank, incumbent Managing Director of First Bank, Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, also from Kano, and Mallam Falalu Bello from Kaduna, Managing Director, Unity Bank.

But the most touted name so far is that of Mallam Isa Yuguda, the Bauchi State governor who won election on the platform of the All Nigeria peoples Party, ANPP, but defected to the ruling PDP last week. Yuguda is also an in-law of President Umaru Yar’Adua. Yuguda was also a former Managing Director of Inland Bank, a legacy bank in post-consolidation FinBank.

Past CBN governors include late Dr. Clement Isong (Akwa-Ibom), Alhaji Adamu Ciroma (Yobe); Mr. Ola Vincent (Lagos), late Alhaji Abdulkadir Ahmed (Bauchi); Mr. Paul Ogwuma (Abia), Dr. Joseph Sanusi (Ondo) and the current Professor Charles Soludo (Anambra).

It was also gathered that strict obedience to civil service rules will be observed in the appointment of a new Auditor General for the Federation going by the constitutional provision.

Section 86 Subsection 1 of the 1999 constitution states: “the Auditor-General for the Federation shall be appointed by the President on the recommendation of the Federal Civil Service Commission, subject to the confirmation of the Senate.”

That of the CBN may be determined by other factors, mostly political considerations which are at the pleasure of the President without recourse to the commission.

The most senior director in the office of the Auditor-General currently is Mr. Ogunsina G.F from Ekiti State who may be appointed unless there is political maneuvering. Having been a director since 2004, it may not be smooth sailing for Ogunsina because, there is another senior civil servant Mr. Osonuga T. A. from Ogun State who was promoted a director in 2007 and is being propelled by other forces to occupy the office.

It’s unfortunate top 5 banks are targeted, says official

A CBN official who spoke on condition of anonymity said that it is unfortunate that top five banks are the target. The banks, he said, are sound. The CBN had mistaken in the past the ongoing move as de-marketing by competitors in the banking industry, saying it is unhealthy competition.

The group is using this means to make depositors panic and undertake massive withdrawal of funds from the targeted banks in an attempt to cause liquidity problem in the bank. In that state they hope to cause a take over by the government which may buy a stake in the bank and later sell to members of the privileged group who may be appointed in the interim into the board of the banks.

Arewa worries over liquidity problem

However, the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) expressed concern over what it described as the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and tasked the Central Bank (CBN) to inform the people the cause of the development as well as the scale of the crisis.

ACF said that the commercial banks must have obviously lent too much money to people who either invested them in buying stocks or in the importation of petroleum products in the country, but are unable to repay such loans.

A statement signed by the National Publicity Secretary of the Forum, Mr. Anthony Sani however blamed the CBN for enquiring “into the volume of the so-called toxic assets of the commercial banks while refusing to tell Nigerians how or why in the first place, the banks found themselves in trouble.

The statement reads “The Working Committee of the National Executive Council of the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) held its meeting at its national headquarters in Kaduna on Tuesday, the 17th of March 2009. In attendance were all National officers of the ACF drawn from the 19 northern states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT). General IBM Haruna, the Chairman presided.

“Among other things, the meeting reviewed and discussed a number of issues and other troubling developments in the country. At the end, it resolved to issue the following statement.

“The ACF deliberated on the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and observed that Nigerians are feeling increasingly frustrated by the failure of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to disclose the true the true nature and the scale of the crisis.

“Even members of the National Assembly, despite their best efforts, have been unable to get to the truth of the matter.
According to Arewa consultative forum “All that seem obvious is that our commercial banks had lent out too much money to too many people who had invested them in stocks or petroleum importation but who are now unable to pay back. Beyond that, the public has no clear idea as how or why the loans were given and on what terms.”

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/26/group-plots-takeover-of-five-top-banks/comment-page-13/

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Kidnapping is the next big thing after Yahoozee

Tips on Avoiding Kidnappers and Ritualists

I told you back then, that Kidnapping was one of the highest paying non-white collar job. As employers cut costs and lay people off, trying to play smart, criminals have also returned to the drawing board, carving out schooled tactics (tricks) borne out of survival instincts… to make money at all cost! Comedy, Music, and Theatre art courses are sold out in institutions today but I’m seriously holding out for a course on Kidnapping, since it’s the next big thing after 419 Scamming. I received this mail from a friend and will encourage you to pass on to friends and loved ones. Don’t let greed get the best of you. I don’t pray to lose anyone right now, cos to be frank with you, I can’t even get a puppy out of their jail. Listen to me now or deal with them O.Y.O. (on your own). Remember, only the living can take decisions.

Dear All,
A new modus operandi is currently being used by kidnappers to lure unsuspecting victims to their hideout, usually an office-like apartment. This new trend has made it easy and less risky for the kidnappers as they don’t have to fire gun shots in the air to scare people or face risk of Police intervention at the point of kidnap.

First they will study you, your kind of business, your household and other activities, laying more emphasis on the kind of job you do and also good knowledge of your interests. They will of course have your full contact details. When they have all these information, they will put a call to you, claiming to offer you a business deal or to offer you something you have planned to have or buy. When they have convinced you, they will ask you to meet them at an agreed location where they will explain further, show you or deliver the expectant goods to you. The location they refer to is their hideout for kidnap victims and from there they will transfer their victims at gun point to other locations.

This is the current trend in Lagos and other cities in Nigeria and all of us should be very cautious of this. This has happened to a lot of business men and unsuspecting corporate staff and is still happening. This new trend makes it very difficult to trace the victims’ whereabouts as they (victims) tend to keep the business deal to themselves until after it has been concluded.

PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES:
1). Do not disclose information concerning your self/family/business to every one you come in contact with. Limit information about yourself and nature of work to only those you trust.
2). Do not disclose personal/official intended project plans to every one or discuss it in public places.
3). On receipt of such calls, and they want you to meet them, play along with them and request them to meet you instead – Decide the venue of the meeting…
4). Don’t be in a hurry to end the telephone conversation as they will be ready to continue to try to convince you. Get a second person around you to know what is going on and quickly alert the Police.
5) Do not leave minors unattended or alone at home.
6). Above all, if you are in doubt, end the conversation by saying “thank you, I am not interested”.

Please share this information with your staff, families,house-helps, drivers and well wishers.

Please pass this information to your family & friends.

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We no go gree - fuel scarcity, bembele salary, Ekiti fraud...

Lagos: Nigeria Labour Congress on Wednesday, 13th of May, 2009 organised a peaceful rally and walked 20 kilometres from Ikorodu Road through Mobolaji Bank Anthony to the State Secretariat, Alausa, Ikeja. About 3,000 protesters showed up with policemen forming a ring around them. There was no riot or violence of any kind and placards conveyed the yearnings of the masses. The Labour and Civil Society Coalition (LASCO) as well as the Trade Union Congress (TUC) were actively involved in the rally. According to this Yahoo! report, Abdulwaheed Omar, head of the NLC openly condemned the government of President Umaru Yar’Adua claiming it has no future for Nigerians. Two issues were raised.

1. Encourage the government to implement the electoral reforms (without permitting any amendment to it) and also raise the current minimum wage (which has been the same 7,500 naira for 10 years) to N52,200 (fifty-two thousand two hundred naira only).

“Esele said: Our problem in Nigeria is that we are not allowed to choose who should lead us. Today, because of electoral flaws in the reforms Act, whoever is “picked” to rule is loyal to his godfather and not the masses”

2. Discourage deregulation of petroleum products; contrary to the government’s belief that it is the only solution to the fuel crisis.

I remember the government has always supported deregulation to the anger of the NLC for as long as I can remember. They are saying deregulation will free us from the “Cartel” but the NLC think this is not true. It’s a tough war and a battle of interests. Deregulation will give the marketers the freedom to alter fuel pump prices as the government withdraws subsidies (to which the FG is owing over $1 billion to these “importers”). You and I know that majority of the oil marketers are greedy people, and given a blank cheque with which they can milk the masses dry, you will expect to buy fuel for N200 per litre before the end of the year, and don’t ask me if there will be competition, they also have a body and are out to make as much profit as politicians. I go with the NLC on that.

3,000 people combine voices, will it just end there?

Instead of giving them a blank cheque to deal with the masses, they should rather focus on building or reviving our refineries. We do not need to import fuel for any reason, being one of the giants in OPEC. Why should a major oil producing country ship crude oil out and then buy the same again at a much much higher rate? It’s a plain old business reality. It is much better to own your infrastructure than to rent from a competitor. You can’t keep renting chairs for your school on a daily basis when you can actually buy chairs for life. If buying a chair costs 2,000 naira and renting one costs 100 naira, in just 20 days you would have paid the competitor 2,000 naira! It is plain to see that the competitor would never pray for you to think out of the box, unless of course there is a “Cartel” – and in our case, there is. Someone out there is benefiting in a big way from every litre of fuel that leaves or gets into the country.

Whatever the case, they need to rebrand our refineries before rebranding Nigeria because you cannot fool us with rebrand Nigeria when you have failed to provide our basic needs including power and fuel. You can’t keep cutting the branches when you can uproot the damn tree. Don’t ever send me such text messages until there’s a lil bit of sanity up there. I don’t need to be rebranded until you make efforts to rebrand the foundation. Its good they claim that Kaduna refinery is on the verge of complete turnaround, Warri Petrochemical company is back and better with 200 trucks of PMS loaded daily (remember only 18 were loading in Lagos as at last week) and that Port Harcourt refinery is doing well again. We need to see the impact at filling stations, the interface between the lengthy hierarchy and the masses.

Fuel Scarcity & Dollar exchange rate Update:

‘Nuff said. Fuel scarcity depends on areas. Some filling stations have a constant supply of fuel and are honest, some are not. It is no news that it is an offence to buy fuel in jerry cans (it is an offence to sell fuel to people in kegs), its equally an offence to buy fuel from black marketers, but in the last 4 weeks this has been the case. As the dollar now sells for 181 naira (official black market rate), 20 naira short of the highest all-time high, it is the black market guys who are having fun. Please read:

What happens in our filling stations nowadays.

http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/05/nnpc-to-neutralize-fuel-scarcity-tomorrow-wed-6th-may-lagos/

Now inflation has every justifiable reason to exist. Markets are being scrapped in order to make Lagos beautiful, dollar don cost, fuel no dey. Tiny oranges now sell for 20 naira each, the bigger ones, 40 naira straight; imported apples, between 70 and 100 naira; Plantain, ah, please don’t go there; Yam, are you kidding me, Hello, are you in Lagos or Kwara? If you are a farmer living outside Lagos, my best advice for you is to load a truck and find your way here, the market is hungry, believe me, call me and i’ll buy. he he he (419’s beware).

Rain rain rain & Comedy

It’s raining again, BRT buses from Ojota to CMS, 150 Naira, LagBus with A/C, 200 naira only. Park your car at home and hit the BRT with your umbrella, I don’t know if you need A/C when it’s pouring heavily but the queues are shorter. Whether you drive or not, please read My tips for surviving the rainy season. The best selling non-white collar job in Lagos right now is comedy. Stand-up comedians and OAP’s (on air personalities) are swimming in millions – making more money than artistes, ‘high-class’ society sluts, gigolos and nollywood actors. It is commonplace for comedians to charge 500,000 naira per show (not so common though) and the good thing is that they get so many shows, an average of 5 per week. Do the math. As Nigerian football reaches an all-time pitiable condition, parents are now sending their wards to school of comedy, buying all the comedy series and begging other people to laugh when their wards crack jokes. Man gast to chop, dollar don cost.

And to think that Mohit Records (Dbanj’s) Suddenly and Close to you videos have been banned along with Tuface’s Enter the place and Kelly Handsome’s Maga don pay on radio. The last time Kerewa of Zule Zoo and Bang bang bang by Femi Kuti were banned, they sold like fire and won awards. Let’s see how they catapult these tracks already in high-demand into further glory. Rebranding Hypocrisy.

Bank Robberies on the rise.

Ah terrible news, I’ll post the pictures in my next topic, but brothers and sisters, bank robbers are now as plentiful as pick-pockets. It’s recession time and robbers are no longer wasting time having to force people to part with mobile phones and cars which they still have to resell, leaving that for the newing generation. They now go straight to the source. They can’t go to Nigerian Printing and Minting or the CBN, their best bet, the Retail banks.

LagosMet verdict: as the fuel scarcity situation fluctuates, some good days and more bad ones, we are still surviving. As the INEC plays into the hands of the government (who pays the piper, who dictates the tunes?) we are still surviving oh, my bros. As minimum wage remains N7,500 and an average House of Rep member goes home with an ‘official’ N172m (in case you thought it was a slip of keyboard, Over One hundred and seventy MILLION naira – not kobo) annually, my sister we still dey manage. Dollar cost, fuel cost, no job, market dry, food cost, dem thief my phone, dem rob me for bank, we still dey.

16 million people and counting, Lasgidi babe, we celebrate life – suffering and smiling.

Good day. The week ends tomorrow, remember Wednesday, May 27th – Children’s day, and Friday May 29th is Democracy day (public holiday). June 12 is another public holiday close by.

For the parents, I leave you with this video, a 2-year old girl with a big IQ (don’t blame those kids cos you gave them excess of Garri, Fufu and Pap).

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If you can, please bite!

LagosMet Tips: How to avoid, manage or repel a rapist, rape. RAPE, a topic no one wants share, remember, or report.

With no 911, rehab or respect, the present scare and scourge of HIV/AIDS, talkless of pregnancy, the last thing you want to come face to face with is the certainty of rape, or a rapists hands down your zippers. Thanks to Gov. Fashola, Oshodi is now a beauty to behold, even at night. Gone are the days when people who try to beat the early morning traffic on their way to work end up being raped in Oshodi even along the rail road. Things have changed now though. Stampedes, riots and curfews are sure fire ways to risk being raped and rapists are everywhere, in hostels, schools, parties, camps e.t.c. and they usually get away with it because no one dares to report.

Here in Lagos, there have been reports of fathers raping daughters (repeatedly), uncles deflowering nieces (forcefully), secondary teachers having their way with students and even gay rapes in male hostels. The after-effect of rape could be life-threatening sadness, darkness, depression and inability to trust. Some rape victims eventually commit suicide, some become very religious, while some refuse to settle down. Trust me, it’s recession, everyone’s cutting cost or getting laid off (not getting laid!) and you don’t want to add one rapist’s son to your payroll – rape is of no moral, spiritual, physical, social or even economic value. Its a stigma no one wants to live with. Have you been raped? You certainly don’t want a repeat. I feel for you, I don’t know how it feels but you must share your experiences sometime (on SecretZen, or Rubminds), with others, maybe, anonymously, and empty your mind just so you can move on.

The son of a rapist is what?

As the rains approach, the weather becomes cold, there isn’t a better time than now to be wary of rapists. Please read and pass on:

Source: http://rubminds.com/forums/general-discussion/through-a-rapist’s-eyes-(no-joke)/

_{Long read but  worth it.. Pass it on to every female you know; you can even share this link.}

A  group of rapists and date rapists in prison were  interviewed on what they look for in a potential  victim and here are some interesting  facts:

1) The  first thing men look for in a potential victim  is hairstyle. They  are most likely to go after a woman  with a  ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can  easily be grabbed .  They are also likely to go  after a  woman with long hair .  Women with short hair are not common  targets.

2) The  second thing men look for  is clothing.  They will look for women  who’s clothing is easy to remove  quickly.  Many of them carry scissors around specifically to  cut clothing.

3) They  also look  for women on their cell phone, searching  through their purse, or doing  other activities while  walking because  they are off-guard and can be easily  overpowered.

4) Men  are most likely to attack & rape in the early  morning, between 5:  00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The  number one place women are abducted from/attacked  is grocery  store parking lots.  The number two: office  parking lots/garages. Number  three: public  restrooms.

6)  The thing about these men is that they  are looking  to grab a woman and quickly move her to another  location where  they don’t have to worry about getting  caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons  because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape  with a weapon is 15-20 years.

If  you put  up any kind of a fight at  all, they  get discouraged because  it only takes a minute or two for them to realize  that going after you isn’t worth it because it will  be time-consuming.

9) These men said they  would not  pick on women who have  umbrellas,  or other similar objects  that can  be used from a  distance, in  their hands.

Keys  are NOT a  deterrent because  you have to get really close to the attacker to use  them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these  guys you’re not worth it.

10) Several defense  mechanisms he taught us are: If  someone is following behind  you on  a street or in a garage or with you in a n elevator  or stairwell, look  them in the face and ask them a  question,  like what  time is it?,  or make general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so  cold out here,’ ‘We’re in for a bad  winter.’ Now  you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a  line-up; you lose appeal as a  target.

http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/how-to-avoid-manage-repel-rapist-rape-tips/

11) If  someone is coming toward you, hold  out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or  STAY BACK!Most of the rapists this man talked to  said they’d  leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she  would not be afraid to fight  back.  Again, they are looking for an EASY  target.

12) If you carry  pepper spray (this  instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it  with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY  and holding  it out will be a  deterrent.

13) If  someone grabs you,  you can’t beat them with strength but you can  by outsmarting  them.  If you are grabbed around the waist from  behind, pinch  the attacker either under  the Arm (between  the elbow and armpit) OR  in the upper inner thigh VERY  VERY HARD.  One woman in a class this guy taught told him she  used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to  date rape her and was so upset she broke through the  skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed  stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as  hard as you can stand it – it  hurts.

14) After  the initial hit, always GO  for the GROIN.  I know from a particularly unfortunate experience  that if you slap a guy’s parts it  is extremely painful.  You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make  him want to hurt you more, but the thing these  rapists told our instructor is that they want a  woman who will not cause a lot of  trouble. Start  causing trouble and he’s out of  there.

15) When  the guy puts his hands up to  you, grab  his first two fingers and bend them back as far as  possible with as much pressure pushing down on them  as possible. The instructor did it to me without  using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and  both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course  the things we always hear still  apply. Always  be aware of your surroundings, take  someone with you if you can and if  you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with  your instincts!!!

You  may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel  much worse if the guy really was  trouble.

1.  Tip from Tae  Kwon Do :  The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If  you are close enough to use it, do!

2.  Learned this from a tourist guide  in New  Orleans :  If a robber asks for your wallet and/or  purse,DO  NOT HAND IT TO HIM.  Toss it away from you….chances are that he is more  interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and  he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN  LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER  DIRECTION!

3.  If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick  out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the  hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t  see you, but everybody else will. This has saved  lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into  their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc.,  and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a  list, etc.) DON’T  DO THIS! The  predator will be watching you, and this is the  perfect opportunity for him to get in on the  passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you  where to go. AS  SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND  LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun  to your head DO  NOT DRIVE OFF,  repeat: DO  NOT DRIVE OFF!  Instead gun the engine and speed into anything,  wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the  person is in the back seat they will get the worst  of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.  It is better than having them find your body in a  remote location.

5  A few notes about getting into your car in a parking  lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look  around you, look into your car, at the passenger  side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you  are parked next to a big van, enter your car from  the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their  victims by pulling them into their vans while the  women are attempting to get into their  cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the  driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger  side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest  your car, you may want to walk back into the mall,  or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back  out.

IT  IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY . (And better  paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take  the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are  horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime  spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7.  If the predator has a gun and you are not under his  control, ALWAYS  RUN! The  predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in  100 times. And even then, it most  likely WILL  NOT be  a vital organ.RUN,  preferably in a zigzag  pattern!

8. As  women, we are always trying to be  sympathetic: STOP! It  may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial  killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who  ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting  women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often  asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his  vehicle, which is when he abducted his next  victim.
9.  Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her  friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night  before last, and she called the police because it  was late and she thought it was weird. The police  told her ‘Whatever  you do, DO NOT open the  door.’

The  lady then said that it sounded like the baby had  crawled near a window, and she was worried that it  would crawl to the street and get run over. The  policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way,  whatever you do, DO  NOT open the door.’ He  told her that they think a serial killer has a  baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of  their homes thinking that someone dropped off a  baby. He said they have not verified it, but have  had several calls by women saying that they hear  baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home  alone at night.

Please  pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying  baby — This should be taken seriously because the  Crying Baby theory was mentioned  on America’s  Most Wanted this  past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer  in Louisiana .

I’d  like you to forward this to all the women you know.  It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by  lighting another candle. I was going to send this to  the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,  wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to  pass it onto them, as well.

Source: http://rubminds.com/forums/general-discussion/through-a-rapist’s-eyes-(no-joke)/

Take away: Bobby Bishops song for Amy (a teenage rape victim)

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Interswitch website warning!

Don’t fall for the Interswitch ATM/Debit Card Scam!

This scam (perpetrated by our Yahoo Yahoo! boys who are fast running out of options – www.419eater.com) has been around for a while now especially since the inception of webpay which made e-commerce possible in Nigeria. The ATM/Debit Card is the only equivalent of the Western Credit Card only that it is prepaid. Naturally, you’d expect the ATM card to be very secure since you need a PIN and a physical provider (Interswitch, E-tranzact) card with preference for Interswitch (being more popular), but websites such as Buyright.biz, rechargenigeria.com, reloadng.com and deoluakinyemi all allow you to pay for goods and services from the comfort of your internet-connected device, just by punching your card number and PIN. In some cases, you get an SMS confirming the transaction, and in some other cases (especially if you are yet to subscribe to SMS alerts) you don’t get any alert. On interswitch’s official website (http://interswitchng.com), you could even transfer from one interswitch card account to another (not sure if this is still possible). Our fraudsters promptly rose to the occasion to explore the holes in the loops, GTB was one of the worst hit, and they reacted instantly by blocking the use of their ATM cards on websites.

It’s quite unfortunate that till today, many still fall for this trap. Look at the mail below: a scammer sends a mail asking you to click on a link to interswitch’s website. Do not click on links (especially masked links) but instead copy and paste into the browser, if it’s not Interswitch’s official website, then it’s pure scam, delete the mail. (http://allafrica.com/stories/200704190048.html)

Interswitch Logo

Also, do not be deceived by the sender’s address, anyone can mask the sender address. If you wish to reply at all, always click on the reply button. Most scam mails usually ask you to reply to a different email address other than the one that was used to send the mail (e.g. sender: expiry@interswitchng.com please reply to: scammer@gmail.com). When they do provide websites, their fake websites mirror the original one (as seen in fake MTN and Zenith Bank job scam sites), sometimes, some cheap-ass scammers use free sites and folders within folders of sub-domains such as http://money.myfreewebsites.com/bank/scammers/fraud/?@www.interswitchng.com/register – you should easily “nab” these ones (I repeat, do not click on links in emails directly, always do copy and paste into google search with the word scam before it and see for yourself, trust your instinct).

LagosMet: My take on this is this, always suspect anything that comes to you by mail or SMS (better to be a pessimist on the internet). Take a line of the content or title of the message, google it with the word scam and see if you get similar results. Remember, if it’s too good to be true then it’s scam.

The mail:

Dear Interswitch Card Holder,

We are carrying out a fraud prevention on our system,
and you’ve been required to register all your ATM card(s) Online Immediately
for security reasons, and to prevent your ATM card(s)
from fraudulent activities.

Be notified, that all ATM card(s) must be registered, such as your
(DEBIT CARDS, X-CHANGE CARDS, and CASH CARDS)

Please Register your ATM cards now by CLICKING HERE and then do as required.

(Failure to verify your ATM Card(s) details correctly will lead to account suspension)

This Update is compulsory
If you do not register your ATM card(s) immediately,
you will no longer be able to use your card(s) on our ATM machines
or for ATM transactions and your card(s) will be cancelled or terminated.

Thank you.

=======================================================

Breakdown:

1. Prevent your card from fraudulent activities (and he’s planning to defraud you already)

2. All cards must be registered (are cards not already registered? A wise man will give the bank a call, not even interswitch)

3. Failure to verify will lead to account suspension (all ATM cards have their expiry dates, you can’t even do any online transaction without entering your debit card’s expiry date, why the rush?)

4. Glorious threats (this is the first scam mail without the magic word called “guarantee”, are you scared to lose your card? As long as your money is safe). Never ever reveal your PIN to anyone.

Finally, Interswitch should please release a list of approved websites so that users can verify which websites are registered and which ones are phishing/scam websites. If there was a list like http://interswitchng.com/list_of_approved_websites/ then the world would be a much better place for scammers and potential, unsuspecting victims like you and I. This modus operandi applies to other sites such as ebay, paypal and many bank websites worldwide. You don’t want to lose your hard earned money in this period of recession, its credit crunch period for scammers as well. Be watchful, be careful, be prepared, be informed.

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Would you rather have the Cedes

LAGOS, Corporate Corruption: Wonder why the naira has struggled to make an impact against the dollar? In the news today, the EFCC has moved to arrest all the Diamond Bank Managers involved in the International Passport – visa dollar fraud. Since banks are supplied hard dollars from CBN to be sold to people with Valid Visas and tickets, some Bank Managers used this opportunity to their advantage. These managers make photocopies of these documents to back up such transactions (they were reportedly apprehended with a couple of fake and original passports in their possession) and then sell the dollars at killer rate to the Black Marketers. The dollar which sold at 202 naira sometime in March had risen against the naira due to high demand resulting from artificial scarcity of the dollar in banks.

EFCC arrests Diamond Bank Managers over dollar fraud

It is worth noting that this could mark the end of the careers of these managers, at least in the Banking Industry. Hopefully, this development should strike fear into the minds of defaulters and we can start to dream of 120 naira to a dollar again. Maybe I can comfortably return to school, and prices of inflated items can fall (na dream?)

What determines the naira-dollar exchange rate?

Why’s the naira so weak against the dollar?

Ps: The second part of the Lagos Traffic Laws will be out unfailingly today.

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My Tata Nano

Tata Nano and Lagos State, will it survive? A review.

Kia Picanto, I10, QQ, Maruti 800, Nano… Namaste! I think “we” know ourselves when it comes to class. You butterish ones, I ain’t talking to y’all, na we dem dem I dey follow yarn. I know you can afford the Smartcars ForTwos and cohorts but you won’t go near this one I can bet. Why? Cos it’s so dang cheap! When I’m thinking Mini-Car to office every Lagos day, you are thinking of driving it down the golf course only. Wait a minute? Even if GTB, UBA, Oceanic, PHB, Zenith and Intercontinental all “collabo” to donate this “ride” (yes, ride, not motor) to my pitiable cause, am I ready to put my one and only life into the driver seat and hit Western Avenue? Yeparipa, come with me and let’s inspect my dream toy. Please advise rightly, put yourself in my shoes, be thy brother’s keeper, even if I can’t be of “help” to someone else.

The Red Nano, high and cheap

I’ve cruised a few really low (in terms of clearance, not height) cars on the streets of Las Gidi in the past. Volkswagen Bug and Kia Picanto to be precise and I know what it takes having one as your only “donkey” (remember Tico Daewoo?). Not nice at all. Every day you fight a battle against three foes; flood, bumps (including speed breakers) and pot-holes and you just never get to win. For a roadside mechanic who “knows his job” your sump and other car parts closer to the ground are bound to drill holes in your pocket (you should know by now that I’m more of a pessimist). Okay, nor vex, back to the topic. I did not say hatchback, read well, I said minicar sometimes called SmartCar so if you are thinking Swift, Rio or even Golf or Mini then you are getting it all mixed up because I’m not even talking about the Benz SmartCar or other look alikes but about these sub 1.1-llitre (mostly 800cc or less) engine minicars, usually with four doors, low ground clearance and looks that remind you of the Pocket PC. Unlike most SmartCars, these minicars ship with 4 doors.

Suzuki's $4,000 Maruti 800

As you are reading this, I just got me a wooden kolo (little bank) to save as much as I can before the Nano finds its way to the hungry Lagos Market.

QQ3 not a hit in Lagos

I’m trying to imagine my Nano speeding past the Cayenne and LR3 on the third mainland bridge, defying the laws of Lagoon breeze and Lagos Madness. I’m not scared cos I’ve seen the Chery QQ3 and Hyundai I10 do 100 on the freeway. With 160 cm of height and 18cm of ground clearance, the Nano is more suited to the rigours of Lagos roads compared with QQ3’s 12.5cm, but with a rear engine I think i’m covered for balance. If you know what I mean, the typical Kia Sportage stands 7.7 inches (20 cm) from the ground. Compared with Maruti 800’s 800cc engine, my nano has a little above 600 and with a 2-cylinder engine, I’m eager to hear what it’ll sound like (keke Napep), hopefully the horn should compensate for the bike-like sound on the road. The electronic engine management should get the best out of our tiny set-up including fuel consumption. A gallon (4 litres) can take you as far as almost 90km. Besides, you only need 1,050 (one thousand and fifty) naira to fill your 15-litre tank! QQ3 has 38 litres. Don’t mention, I can’t wait for the luxury version so I’ll go with the standard version which has no a/c. Now if I were to “bus” to Ibadan, I would be looking at 500 naira to and maybe 450 naira fro (on the average, usually more). That’s almost my full tank and I only need half my tank to drive down to Molete and back but Lagostically thinking, I’d pick 3 other passengers up at Berger (@ 150 naira per seat, not butts) for 450 naira and do the same on the return trip… with 900 naira, that’s more fuel than my tank can hold. Who says having your brand new car doesn’t make sense? As for parking space, you shouldn’t have a problem, 2 nanos can park in your typical Volvo 740 parking space.

For the techies:

Th!nk city, Mini look-alike

The Tata Nano has  a rear-wheel drive, all-aluminium, two-cylinder, 623 cc, 33 PS, multi point fuel injection petrol (MPFI) engine. It’s a petrol engine of course. Rear wheel drive, rear engine configuration means that the front end is very light, and you would not feel the need for power steering. The powertrain of the Tata Nano is set in the rear. Maximum power and maximum torque is  35 bhp @ 5500 rpm and 4.8 kgm @ 3000 rpm, respectively. In terms of performance, the Nano can go from 0 to 60 kph in approximately in 8 Seconds, hitting a top speed of 105 kph. I bet you dont want to swerve or switch double lanes at that point.

On RubMinds.com, a poster from Ireland said she wouldn’t travel long distances due to traffic and fuel scarcity on the expressway, the kerb weight of 600kg didn’t go down either due to strong winds and seating capacity means no lift of any kind to Orobo people.

Warranty on the Nano is 18 months or 24,000 Km, please don’t raise your hopes. Joor oh! Mi o le fi Keke Napep le Trailer o!

$16,000 Smart - the popular one

The summary of it all is that the Nano will work in Lagos but you must not expect too much from it (at least for the price). Not a bad car at all and at 500,000 naira a unit, it’s much better than buying a tokunbo car. There is currently no support but I think Tata should set up big time in Lagos sometime next year after fulfilling their promise to Indians. There is a chance that more and more cheaper cars can be manufactured or are we just paying too much for some cars that aren’t worth that much, like mobile phones? Will the Nano sell? Are you kidding me? Expect to see Glo Nano 100,000 cars Rule and Win Promo Bye-bye to one-chance or crash helmet… He he he. I’m not asking you to donate cash, please donate yarns, should I save or should I just buy a plot of Land at Mowe (25k per month)? Jaiho ooo!

Recessity is the mother of Invention

In Francis Dike’s words, Lagos Naija are you ready for this?

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Deviation.

Give it up for Google!

Poor Yahoo

I decided to check some Alexa rankings today, having done the same on statsbrain.com last week. Sometime last month, Google topped Yahoo on the charts and I took it for granted only to return the following day to see Yahoo! Back on top. With Google acquiring and buying startups of all sorts, I knew it was only a matter of time before they overthrew Yahoo. Is Yahoo bowing to the Credit Crunch (they must be all over Obama’s face right now)?. Another thing I’ve noticed so many bots now use gmail or better still mail.google.com. In the past, yahoo was more bot friendly. Also feedburner moved to the google domain… The long and short of it is that Google has done all within it’s power to attain the status of the world’s MOST VISITED SITE and is likely to keep that for a while, or maybe permanently. Will Facebook be the next threat? Or Youtube? Or Twitter?

Okay let’s wait and see.

By the way, the dollar closed at an exchange rate of 202 naira as Mey Dollars enjoy the “festive” period while it lasts. They buy from you for 185 but sell for 200 naira as dollar becomes increasingly scarce. Mixed fortunes innit?

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Fellow Lagosians,

Lagos Teachers make or break?

It is with a heavy heart that I write this piece. My hands are shaking and numb but write I must. As Kwara celebrated the strike suspension (http://allafrica.com/stories/200903060223.html) on Thursday, 5th of March 2009, National Union of Teachers NUT, Ilupeju, Lagos were engaged in showdown talks with Lagos only to finalise on Friday that teachers would have to resume work and the impromptu holiday had to come to an end (http://www.234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5390974-146/Lagos_teachers_call_off_strike_.csp). Kwara got what they asked for and negotiation with the Government was fruitful, but in Lagos, Africa’s “most populous” city, the teachers were threatened.

Not a death threat though, not blackmail for treason, nope. Now listen to the diplomatic, political threat:

“In order to give you what you have demanded from us, we MUST downsize and sack many of you!”

Osenobua! The statement, just a sentence can be translated into different versions, King James Version inclusive. Elizabethan would look somehow like:

“Thou shalt surely lose thy source of livelihood if it pleaseth thee in thine heart that thy neighbour shalt add more to his herd!”

and Hebrew, and NIV, and CEV, and Arabic… No matter which version, the point is clearer in the hip hop version:

“We just have to rob Peter to pay Paul so we can give Paul’s money to Caesar!”.

The teachers only asked for a 27.5% increase in the face of inflation, credit crunch and devaluation of our currency, the naira, and have now been forced not to call off but to “suspend” the strike and return to work. The students are bound to suffer some setback anyway.

Now my take on this. I think the NUT should allow the Government sack as many teachers as they can. I’ve been to public schools, teachers are just not enough. The government will be forced to employ more teachers with time as it becomes very obvious that the current number of teachers are not enough to help the ever growing influx of pupils into public schools. Also, people are bound to retire yearly, thereby freeing up more employment slots.

If teachers continue to teach without their hearts in their craft, we are bound to produce the worst generation of students ever, and that won’t be nice for the streets. The ones who will eventually suffer for this historic, cruel act will be you and me who ply the streets of Lagos everyday.

Ps: Dollar – Naira, Black market/ Street price at $1 to 190 naira.

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