Yar'adua Snail

Yar’Adua (fried snail meat). Remember Agbari Ojukwu (party cooking pot), Stove Abacha (Sawdust cooker), Ojuyobo (big-eyed fish named after Bola Tinubu, former Governor of Lagos), Shagari (70’s long Mercedes Benz), Awolowo (100 Naira), Apoti FEDECO (Old commercial bus), Ekana Gowon (locally made finger candy), Keke Marwa (Tricycle) e.t.c.

Even if IBB managed to escape with the tag Maradona (the master “dribbler”) or OBJ with the most “handsome” man in the world, Yar’Adua earned a name that will forever be remembered in tales and discussions passed on from generation to generation as the “Snail” due to his slow, snail-paced response to the demands of the people and in implementing “workable” policies. Some even believe he is a snail crawling backwards (on reverse) or go-slow or 77 point-agenda.

A man drops by at mama-put for lunch and says: “Mama, please give me round-about, assorted, ojuyobo, cow-leg and one Yar’Adua.”
Mama bursts into tears amidst laughter “Oga, which one be Yar’Adua again o?”
The next man on the queue says “Mama, na the fried snail now, you don see anybody wey fast past snail? Abeg reserve the last Yar’Adua for me o!”

Next time you visit mama put or a cafeteria, be sure to have a taste of the scarce, expensive but “healthy” Yar’Adua, you can even make more money if you rear one.

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SHOCKING REVELATION: Sanusi may not be acting in our interest after all. Chances are that he and Waziri of the EFCC are only protecting northern interest and are being used as tools to carry out the northern agenda since Soludo removed the Arabic language from the Naira. Please read on:

Vanguard on 23 March 2009, did a world exclusive on alleged plot by a group of individuals to take over five banks in the country.

Two weeks ago, the new Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi sacked the chief executives and boards of five banks, therefore confirming our scoop of March 23.

The story:ANTI-CONSOLIDATION forces have regrouped with the hope of dismantling the structures and forcing a takeover of the top five banks in the country, Vanguard can now reveal. The grand plan by the group is to cause panic and uncertainty in the industry and make the target banks look unsafe for depositors

Meantime, indications emerged yesterday that the Federal Government may announce the names of a new Governor of the Central Bank (CBN) and the Auditor-General of the Federation (AGF) in April just a few weeks before the tenure of the incumbents run out.

However, the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) has expressed concern over what it described as the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and tasked the Central Bank (CBN) to make public information on causes of the development as well as the scale of the crisis.

Vanguard investigations revealed that the aim of the anti-consolidation forces is to cause loss of public confidence in the banking industry and compel the Federal Government to move in by injecting funds. Further, they ultimately plan to instigate government to take equity holdings in the targeted banks.

Vanguard gathered that the group at work is made up of former bank owners who lost out during the consolidation exercise, a powerful clique in the present government, and some aggrieved persons in three of the six geopolitical zones in the country who felt left out in the consolidation exercise.

Presidency sources disclosed that those who felt left out in the consolidation exercise are up in arms to recoup what they felt they lost during Obasanjo years.

Part of the plans hatched by the group is to ensure that the incumbent Governor of the Central Bank, Professor Chukwuma Soludo, does not get a second term. The plan is also to ensure that whatever gains consolidation recorded are discredited.

This, it was learnt, was meant to force the President to act quickly in the matter of appointment of a successor to Soludo as they anticipate that the president’s slow move may scuttle their dreams and cause the renewal of Soludo’s re-appointment for a second term.

The group’s second game plan is to make Nigerian banks look unsafe in the eye of the banking public. Part of the game is to spread rumours that some banks are unsound and are on the verge of collapse. They send out text messages to individuals and account holders passing wrong information on their target banks. At the moment, the group’s target is one of the high-flying new generation banks where they have sent out several messages.

New CBN Gov, Auditor-General to emerge April

The tenure of the CBN Governor, Professor Chukwuma Soludo and Auditor-General of the Federation, Mr. O. R. Ejenavi from Delta State will lapse in May 2009.

Naming nominees for the top jobs, according to a presidency source, will afford the Senate ample opportunity to work on them before they assume office.

While Soludo will complete his first term in office as CBN governor by May 29, Ejenavi will be due for retirement on age grounds on May 18.

However, among those being considered for the position of CBN governor include the Minister of National Planning, Dr Shamsuddeen Usman from Kano, who was a former Finance minister and deputy governor at the apex bank; another former CBN deputy governor, Obadiah Mailafia from Nassarawa, Mallam Isa Hayatudeen from Borno, a former managing director of FSB International Bank, incumbent Managing Director of First Bank, Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, also from Kano, and Mallam Falalu Bello from Kaduna, Managing Director, Unity Bank.

But the most touted name so far is that of Mallam Isa Yuguda, the Bauchi State governor who won election on the platform of the All Nigeria peoples Party, ANPP, but defected to the ruling PDP last week. Yuguda is also an in-law of President Umaru Yar’Adua. Yuguda was also a former Managing Director of Inland Bank, a legacy bank in post-consolidation FinBank.

Past CBN governors include late Dr. Clement Isong (Akwa-Ibom), Alhaji Adamu Ciroma (Yobe); Mr. Ola Vincent (Lagos), late Alhaji Abdulkadir Ahmed (Bauchi); Mr. Paul Ogwuma (Abia), Dr. Joseph Sanusi (Ondo) and the current Professor Charles Soludo (Anambra).

It was also gathered that strict obedience to civil service rules will be observed in the appointment of a new Auditor General for the Federation going by the constitutional provision.

Section 86 Subsection 1 of the 1999 constitution states: “the Auditor-General for the Federation shall be appointed by the President on the recommendation of the Federal Civil Service Commission, subject to the confirmation of the Senate.”

That of the CBN may be determined by other factors, mostly political considerations which are at the pleasure of the President without recourse to the commission.

The most senior director in the office of the Auditor-General currently is Mr. Ogunsina G.F from Ekiti State who may be appointed unless there is political maneuvering. Having been a director since 2004, it may not be smooth sailing for Ogunsina because, there is another senior civil servant Mr. Osonuga T. A. from Ogun State who was promoted a director in 2007 and is being propelled by other forces to occupy the office.

It’s unfortunate top 5 banks are targeted, says official

A CBN official who spoke on condition of anonymity said that it is unfortunate that top five banks are the target. The banks, he said, are sound. The CBN had mistaken in the past the ongoing move as de-marketing by competitors in the banking industry, saying it is unhealthy competition.

The group is using this means to make depositors panic and undertake massive withdrawal of funds from the targeted banks in an attempt to cause liquidity problem in the bank. In that state they hope to cause a take over by the government which may buy a stake in the bank and later sell to members of the privileged group who may be appointed in the interim into the board of the banks.

Arewa worries over liquidity problem

However, the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) expressed concern over what it described as the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and tasked the Central Bank (CBN) to inform the people the cause of the development as well as the scale of the crisis.

ACF said that the commercial banks must have obviously lent too much money to people who either invested them in buying stocks or in the importation of petroleum products in the country, but are unable to repay such loans.

A statement signed by the National Publicity Secretary of the Forum, Mr. Anthony Sani however blamed the CBN for enquiring “into the volume of the so-called toxic assets of the commercial banks while refusing to tell Nigerians how or why in the first place, the banks found themselves in trouble.

The statement reads “The Working Committee of the National Executive Council of the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF) held its meeting at its national headquarters in Kaduna on Tuesday, the 17th of March 2009. In attendance were all National officers of the ACF drawn from the 19 northern states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT). General IBM Haruna, the Chairman presided.

“Among other things, the meeting reviewed and discussed a number of issues and other troubling developments in the country. At the end, it resolved to issue the following statement.

“The ACF deliberated on the rapidly deteriorating liquidity situation in the banking industry and observed that Nigerians are feeling increasingly frustrated by the failure of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to disclose the true the true nature and the scale of the crisis.

“Even members of the National Assembly, despite their best efforts, have been unable to get to the truth of the matter.
According to Arewa consultative forum “All that seem obvious is that our commercial banks had lent out too much money to too many people who had invested them in stocks or petroleum importation but who are now unable to pay back. Beyond that, the public has no clear idea as how or why the loans were given and on what terms.”

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/26/group-plots-takeover-of-five-top-banks/comment-page-13/

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Ritualists behead boy after disguising as pregnant women and forcing parents to sacrifice son at gun point.

It has come to a point where everyone must mind their business to the detriment of those who need help, including pregnant women. A family was traveling on one of our highways when they saw a pregnant woman (ritualist in disguise) crying for help as supposedly in labor pains. The man driving never wanted to stop as he was not convinced but the wife being a woman that had gone through labor pains before pleaded with her husband to stop and help the so-called pregnant woman.
As soon as they stopped and came out from their car to help this ritualist in pregnant woman’s form, little did they
know that was going to be the beginning of sorrows in their Home. When they reached out to help this So-call woman, some fellows just came out from the bush and made a painful offer to them: They either give up one of their children or they will all be killed!!!

This family supposing these fellows to be gang of kidnappers agreed to give them one of their children (a boy) thinking they will soon ask for a ransom on the boy but never knew they have just offered their son for sacrifice to the ritualists.. The poor boy was asking the parents – “Daddy & Mummy why me??????????”.LagosMet.com

They were asked to go and they started their car and zoomed off and just few minutes from the scene of this horror, they met some policemen and narrated their ordeal to them and the Police decided to go back with them to see whether they will see anything there, only for them to meet the headless dead Body of their SON with fresh blood gushing out like water with no trace of these evil people!!!!!!!!!!!

Will this mother ever forgive herself for urging her Husband to stop and help?????????????? Will this family ever be the same again???????????????????

Please send this to all your friends especially people who travel at night. It is unfortunate that people who now need help will not get it as the bad eggs have mingled with the good ones and are destroying the country with their evil intentions.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

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Fashola Directs Stoppage Of Arrests For MOT Offences
• As LASG moves to halt faking of MOT Test Certificates
Gov. Fashola has directed that henceforth, no motorist in Lagos State should be arrested or contravened on account of the possession of inauthentic Ministry of Transport (MOT) Test Certificate.
Rather than arrest or contravention, the Governor directed that any motorist caught with such fake document should be issued a docket with a moratorium of 21 days within which to rectify the anomaly and obtain a genuine document.
Disclosing the directive Sunday at a Joint Press Briefing in conjunction with his Motor Vehicle Administration Agency counterpart, Mr. Akin Hansen, the Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Transportation, Mr. Oluseyi Coker, said the directive was aimed at nipping in the bud the circulation of fake MOT document in the State.
According to the Permanent Secretary, the Governor also directed that only motorists who breach clear traffic offences as specified in the Traffic Law and Highway Code could be arrested.
Coker further disclosed that through the activities of the Vehicle Inspection Unit of the Ministry of Transportation, it was recently discovered that fake MOT certificates are in circulation which predictably lack the security features on the authentic certificate.
He also revealed that certain centres whose operators failed to renew their licenses, have continued operating using touts that often use their Test Centres to issue MOT test certificates and documents such as Bank pay-slip and allied documents.
The Permanent Secretary reiterated that the State Government’s Law enforcement and Traffic Management Strategies and officers are not aimed at revenue generation but to make the roads safe and sane for the use and convenience of Law-abiding citizens.
Lamenting that most vehicle owners engage the services of third party to collect the certificate, Coker said the procedure for obtaining the MOT Test Certificate still remained that the vehicle owner should make a statutory payment at the Government approved bank- Sterling Bank- before the vehicle and the bank’s pay-slips are taken to any duly certified designated MOT Test Centre for the issuance of MOT Certificate after necessary inspection has been conducted on the vehicle.
He warned, “In view of the foregoing, Government is not liable for any transaction that does not follow the aforementioned due process”, adding that the directive of the Governor is part of the steps being taken by the State Government in its avowed determined to nip in the bud the nefarious activities of touts and bring to book anyone found guilty in this regard.
Other steps taken by the Government in this direction, the Permanent Secretary said, include the publishing of the list of duly certified and licensed MOT centres and the mobile phone numbers of Government officials to contact in cases of any anomalies concerning the MOT.
On the allegations of excesses by some LASTMA officials on the State’s highways, Coker stated, “For the avoidance of doubt, our law enforcement and Traffic Management Strategies and officers are not aimed at revenue generation but rather meant to make our roads safe and sane for the use and convenience of law-abiding citizens”.
“The acts of a few bad eggs in our traffic agencies should not be misconstrued as a reflection of the character of the hardworking men and women who are clearly in the majority”, the permanent Secretary said, directing members of the public who are harassed on account of non-original MOT document, to lodge their complaints by sending SMS to 08033056975, 08033239057 or 070249983.
Calling on all public officer in the State to “conscientiously carryout the new directive on the operation of MOT and motorists in the State “to make that extra effort to obtain genuine documents in every transaction”, Coker declared, “I will like to end this address with the oft-repeated call by His Excellency, the Governor of Lagos State, Mr. Babatunde Fashola (SAN) that traffic officers, LASTMA officials and, indeed, all public officials are in employment for only one reason – to provide service to all law-abiding citizens of Lagos State”.
In his contribution, the Senior Special Assistant to the Governor on Media, Mr. Hakeem Bello, urged the media, as the link between the Government and the people to endeavor at all times to carry out this noble duty by putting the right information in the public domain.
Also present at the occasion were the Director of Projects, Ministry of Transportation, Engineer Remi Thomas, a director in the Motor Vehicle Management Agency, Mr. M.A. Buraimoh, among other officials from both government establishments.

Loosen up!

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Fellas, our creative neighbours have discovered new ways of laying ambush for unsuspecting lagosians. The latest trick now works like this.

1. You park your car at the mall, an eatery, a cinema or church.
2. Someone removes your number plate, the one closest to the wall or another car.
3. You get in the car and drive off
4. Someone in okada or taxi or any car flags you down brandishing your number plate in your face (you recognize it cos its yours and you are not like me – I don’t know mine!)
5. You slow down and park hoping to tip the good samaritan and continue your mugu journey but the “well-meaning” lagosian shows you his red eye and robs you pants down, if possible, steal your car.
6. You are now officially on your own. If you are mature enough to follow protocol (your best bet), you call the police, go home take a bathe, thank God for preserving your life and sleep your sorrows away. Joy cometh in the morning brother. Next time. Next freaking time, obey your instincts.

What do we do?
You now need to check both number plates before leaving the parking lot, either way, do NOT stop even if someone on bike (okada) or another car shows you your mother’s head, in fact, exercise your rights on the wheels, NO SPEED LIMIT!

ps: It could be your scarf, notebook, mobile phone, but whatever it is, just let it go.

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Killer Tin Tomato Floods Market (Vanguard Newspaper)

With the nation yet to get over the large number of death of children caused by My Pikin Teething Mixture, the Lagos State government has impounded over 20,000 cartons of an alleged fake tin tomato, Tasty Tom. The National Union of Food, Beverage and Tobacco Employees (NUFBTE) have also raised an alarm over an attempt to flood the Nigerian market with harmful vegetable oil and related products. The tins of fake tomato paste were impounded at Ipaja-Ayobo area of Lagos, according to the State Commissioner for Health, Dr. Jide Idris. He told newsman that the fake products were discovered by the State Task Force on Drugs in an abandoned building following a tip off.

PLEASE LETS CIRCULATE THE INFORMATION TO FRIENDS AND FAMILIES TO SAVE OUR LOVED ONES!!

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EFCC Smashes ATM Card Cloning Syndicate

The aggressive campaign by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC against Automated Teller Machine (ATM) fraudsters recorded a major breakthrough last week with the arrest in Lagos, of three powerful members of a crack syndicate whose specialty is the cloning of ATM cards using Magnetic Card Reader/Encoder machine.

Image
From Left,Chris Okeke,Nicholas Egbo and Kelechi Aro with their instruments of fraud.
The trio, Chris Okeke, Nicholas Egboh and Kelechi Aro were smoked out of their hide out following series of investigations which started from Kano that fingered them as the arrow heads of the deadly gang that has been defrauding depositors of various banks through the ATM. They were arrested on the last floor of a two storey building in Alaba Suru, a suburb of Lagos. Six Laptop computers, the Card reader machine, Bank documents and several credit cards and ATM cards were recovered from the suspects. Also recovered is a Gulf 3 saloon car.

According to investigation, all the fraudsters needed to have access to the account of any bank depositor are the victim’s ATM and PIN numbers. Once they have that information, they would use card reader machine to print the numbers on any ATM card. Once that is done, they can use the card to withdraw money from the victim’s account without even knowing the account holder’s name.

It is believed that members of this syndicate belong to the group of fraudsters that have been sending scam mails and text messages in the name of Interswitch Nigeria, urging unwary debit card holders to upgrade their ATM cards by filing online forms which requires them to disclose their pin numbers. Those who fall prey to this scam lost millions of naira to the fraudsters.

During interrogation, Chris Okeke the ring leader whose father’s house was being used for the fraudulent group’s activities disclosed that the house belongs to his ailing father who had relocated to his village in Anambra State due to ill health and that all the items found in the house belonged to his accomplices. He further revealed that one Darlington, who is at large, is the owner of the machine and the Gulf car recovered from him. He claims that he was always staying in his room while Darlington and other members of the syndicate perpetrated the fraud in the living room.

But, 34 year old Nicholas Egboh debunked the claims of his co-traveler in crime. According to Nicholas, Chris knew much about the scam and benefited from the proceeds of the crime. Nicholas said he used to see different people coming to the house everyday and that he had warned Chris on several occasions that he would run into trouble. He disclosed that he was a trader in Onitsha, Anambra State and, that six months ago, his business collapsed and he relocated to Lagos in preparation for a trip to Egypt. He denied being a member of the syndicate, but one of the Laptop computers recovered in the house, belongs to him.

The third suspect, Kelechi Aro who wears a dreadlock also exonerated himself from the crime saying that he was a musician and a labourer. He said he relocated to the house of fraud two years ago from Ajegunle, another Lagos Suburb. But it was obvious that he was being economical with the truth as operatives caught him sending scam messages with one of the Laptop computers when he was arrested.

Interestingly, the report that triggered the arrest of members of this deadly syndicate originated from kaduna. A resident of that city had lodged a complaint with the Commission’s office in Kano to the effect that some fraudsters had pulled out some money from his account in one of the banks in the city. Investigators were able to trace the fraudsters to Surulere, Lagos through the Driver’s License used by the fraudsters to withdraw money from the said account. Consequently, Remilekun Ojolowo and Sherifat Aderomu, who have been admitted to administrative bail, were arrested. Upon interrogation they claimed to belong to a network of syndicates that specialize in ATM fraud and led operatives to the den of the fraudsters where the startling recoveries were made.

This latest discovery followed a similar one in port harcourt, Rivers state where EFCC operatives unveiled a set of bank officials who duplicate customers ATM cards to defraud them of millions of naira.
In the case of the Port Harcourt syndicate, one Ms. Cassandra Olaleye, a banker and her accomplice, Regal Horsefall were arrested by EFCC operatives following the discovery of the ATM fraud. The two suspects who have been working as partners since June 2008 withdrawing funds totaling about N12 million from a customer’s account, an account managed by Cassandra. Their journey to the EFCC net started when the customer gave a cheque of N4 million to someone and was told his account was already in the red. He went to the bank to verify and from his account statement, it was discovered that a lot of ATM withdrawals had been done on the account. The customer who was surprised as he has never used his ATM card before protested and the matter was reported to the EFCC Port Harcourt Zonal office.

After a careful study of the bank statement, operatives discovered that the money was drawn from an ATM machine located in the premises of a Hotel in Port Harcourt almost on a daily basis since July 2008. They visited the ATM Machine to see if it has a camera, but there was none. Luckily for them, the Hotel has a CCTV surveillance camera. The footages were rolled back and it was discovered that for almost two months, a particular red Toyota corolla car brings a lady to the machine to make withdrawals.

The number plate of the car was copied and a search for the vehicle began. After about two weeks of searching, the vehicle was discovered in a compound in Elekahia Housing Estate, in Rumoumasi area of Port Harcourt. Operatives went in and a lady (Regal Horsefall) who they suspected was the culprit from the CCTV footages was sighted. She was approached for questioning, but she said she has never gone to the hotel for any withdrawal. They asked her about the car and she said it belongs to her brother.

The operatives then arrested her. She was taken to the EFCC office where a call was put through to the supposed brother who came immediately and said she was not his sister but his girlfriend who goes to the ATM machine located in the hotel. He took the Operatives to her house where she agreed that she made the withdrawals. She was arrested and during interrogation, she said it was Cassandra Olaleye that gave her the ATM card to do the withdrawals for her. It was discovered later that the ATM point in the hotel premises was chosen because the culprits noticed it didn’t have a camera on it.

Operatives contacted Cassandra Olaleye who they discovered had moved from Port Harcourt to Calabar where she currently works with a different bank. She was subsequently arrested and brought to the EFCC Port Harcourt office where she initially denied all the allegations.

To solve the riddle, the two of them were brought together because Regal insisted that Cassandra gave her the card.

With the face off, what will solve the riddle was a deeper investigation. When eventually Cassandra was confronted with the heap of evidence already gathered by operatives in the course of investigation , she admitted all the allegations.

http://www.efccnigeria.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=689&Itemid=34

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Please send to your female friends (married & single). If you are unmarried, store this as info to use when you do get married. For the married please share with your spouse. It’s an act with all pains but no gain.

Shop Lock

MANY sisters have boasted in my presence of how often they have had to ‘lock shop’ early, or how they lock shop for weeks, sometimes months, in order to teach hubby a lesson or just to spite him. These sisters are of the impression that they can do as they please, because they have the shop keys. As a result, they lock shop for every little thing, without giving consideration to the ’shopper’.

There are exceptions to every rule, and opinions will sometimes differ.
However, where shop-locking is concerned, my philosophy is that shop should remain open at all times. I agree that teeth and tongue will meet, but shop-locking should never be used as a weapon or tool in conflict resolution. Couples should find suitable ways to solve problems.

It is a fact that not all ’shops’ have a common closing time. As a matter of fact when one shop door closes, another is usually right around the corner with a big neon sign that blinks ‘OPEN FOR BUSINESS’. Be wary of shops that are open late! The goods they stock are usually illegal, contaminated or expired. Ladies, if you or hubby should get sick or go to an early grave, let it not be due to consumption of tainted goods from another woman’s shop.

Shop-locking adds fuel to fire in most cases. Women should never be fooled into believing that by putting up a ‘CLOSED’ sign on the shop door they are on their way to problem solving. Women, a hungry man will not allow himself to starve to death. Some will stop at nothing in their quest to satisfy their seemingly insatiable hunger. They will accept anything, whether hot and spicy or cold and icy. Some men will eat food not for taste, but for mere survival. They eat to live, to satisfy a need. That, my friends, is the nature of man.

When shop locks, who suffers more? In reality isn’t it the shopkeeper more than the shopper? Sisters, please, I implore you, learn from the immigrants who come and set up shop on our soil, and keep shop open. Stop closing shop for every little thing. Open shop in shop seasons. Open shop on holidays. Open shop late at nights. Open shop during storm and hurricane. Open shop when shop should be open.

Even the well-bred man who eats out and scrupulously cleans his hands and mouth will bring home even a morsel from his street meal. Visualise what could happen when shop reopens for business as usual and some of his contaminated crumbs fall onto your plate. Imagine that you would have contributed to this scenario by locking shop. A word to the wise is sufficient

Jacqueline Champier , the author has an MSc in counselling and psychology and writes from Mandeville Jamaica

www.LagosMet.com

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Sanusi versus bank mismanagement

Disgraceful List of Oceanic Bank, Afribank, Finbank, Intercontinental Bank and Union Bank Debtors including Femi Otedola, Ibori, Arisekola, Ramanniya and all the “richest” men in Nigeria. This list released by the CBN also contains the amount owed. Please click on each picture to see a wider view.

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