Who's next on their preylist?

Sometime ago, I notified you of the upsurge in kidnapping all over the country and recently in Lagos, well, if my statistics are right, 1 out of 10 people know someone who’s relative was recently kidnapped. Don’t you? Churches and schools have seriously stepped up their game in identifying parents and guardian of pupils (you know the type of school I’m referring to of course, he that is down needs fear no kidnap). With unemployment taking its toll on the family, to whom much is given… , our graduates have to survive and give something back to the family as fast as possible and they are taking it to the extreme based on the fact that we live in a community where so much emphasis is placed on material things. You just have to hammer, you gast to be bigs! Interswitch ATM card threats (419 scam), street begging, pick pocketting, bag snatching, shop lifting, car stealing, contract killing, car smuggling, gigoloing, oil bunkering, road waylaying, armed robbery, yahoozeeing and last but not the least, kidnapping.

Youths now “work from home”, the order of the day.

By the way, I’ve not been feeding well lately, I am begging you kidnappers out there, please come for me! I’m worth at least 15,000 naira so far you’ll be feeding me thrice daily for at least two weeks He he he. Please see a forwarded mail from my colleague right below, you may have seen it before but the question is, did you pass it on?

Kidnapping is becoming rampant, like HIV, it is now a scourge. It is real!

In this era of kidnapping, just to add to our caution list and tips. I got this from an ex-colleague……………………….

“I felt I should share this experience with you so that you will be careful how you deal with people who are unfamiliar with you.
About a month ago, a family friend in Abuja, Nigeria received anonymous telephone calls and text messages demanding a ransom of
NGN1, 200,000, failure which he and/or members of his family would either be kidnapped or shot.
No reason was given for the threat.  The gang was very thorough in their details of my friend’s family and his movement.
They gave him the first and middle names of each of his children and his wife, which were known only to very close relatives.  On one occasion, the gang gave a description of the clothes he wore on a particular day and the times he went out and came in.
The recipient was advised to play along with the group while efforts were made to contact the State Security Service (SSS) and the Police.
Two weeks ago, the gang issued a 48-hour ultimatum for the money to be paid.
The SSS contacted the management of the commercial bank nominated by the gang for the deposit of the ransom.  My friend was then advised to deposit the sum of NGN200, 000 in the Abuja account.  Three hours after the deposit was made, attempt was made to withdraw the money in a branch of the bank in Lagos.  The bank immediately alerted the police who arrested the man and kept him incommunicado.
As other members of the gang could not reach their member who was then in Police custody, they rang my friend to enquire if he reported the banking details to security agencies.  When my friend enquired why they asked, he was told that they had neither seen nor heard from the man they sent to collect the ransom from the bank.  The gang appeared to have bought the lie sold to them by my friend when he told them that the man might have absconded with the money.  Two hours later, they sent an account in another commercial bank for the remittance of the balance ransom.

The security agencies again placed alert on the account after which my friend paid in NGN200, 000.  Soon after the deposit was made, two men worked into a branch of the commercial bank, again in Lagos, to withdraw the money.  They were both arrested and handed over to the police.  All three men are now being interrogated by the FCT Command of the Nigeria Police.

In the course of the investigation, it was found that all three men had been contracted by my friend to drill a borehole in his house about two months ago.
While they were constructing the borehole, my friend’s wife had occasions to take them in her car to some places in Abuja to purchase materials for the works.  On one occasion, she had left a file containing her school records and other personal documents on the back seat of the car.  A member of the gang scanned through the file and extracted some vital personal information with the use of his mobile phone.  Also, during the course of the two weeks when they drilled the borehole, they had interviewed my friend’s two little children, aged four and three, to know their full names.”

There is so much we can learn from this incident.
    First, personal and sensitive information should not be left in a place where unauthorized persons could have access to them.
    Second, in our homes we should use only workmen who have been referenced and/or are familiar.
    And third, we should teach our household members to not speak to strangers.

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Sean Alsilski Gala Boy

Buy your Gala here!

You may or may not have heard or seen ‘Oyibo man’  hawking UAC food’s most popular brand, Gala beef roll. It’s a popular snack on major roads in Lagos and demand is highest during the rush-hour and heavy traffic. Gala has been around for many years and has enjoyed monopoly (many others have come and gone) even in the face of adulteration (or better still, piracy). Gala now sells for 50 naira per roll. You can see why Sean has combat pants to keep his plenty denominations of the Naira so that he can equally provide “change” to buyers who are in no time to hit the next car bumper to bumper, if you don’t have change, you don’t sell. If you don’t have the energy, others outsell you. You must be able to navigate in between different types of cars and ‘learners’ and also evade your worst enemy – the okada. Watch out for KAI or Task Force men, you know where to keep your phone if you have one. Lastly, you need all your sense organs – ears (to sense people beckoning), eyes (to read gestures) and even nose (to smell danger) – and your skin, as tough as the alligators as you need to be strong in times of rain, cold and scorching sun. Not to mention, you must learn to flash the “fresh and soft” gala in the face of pupils in the back seat. If you are thinking of starting a gala-hawking business, please think twice, it’s not that easy! And of course, you must know where, where not and when not to hawk: (http://lagosmet.com/blog/category/laws-of-lagos-state)

Gala beef roll

Here’s the story from PM News:

American Hawks Gala In Lagos An American, Mr. Sean Alsilski, was seen hawking gala sausage rolls yesterday, at the Ojota area of Lagos state. He easily drew a large crowd as Lagosians laughed and wondered what could have made him to hawk gala in Lagos, and on a sunny day too. But Alsilski, unperturbed by the people watching and giggling at him, continued to sell his stuff to motorists and passersby who were eager to buy from him, some just for the fun of it. He rebuffed people trying to ask him why he was out in the streets selling gala, saying he was too busy to talk to anyone. After much prompting by this reporter, he opened up on why he was out selling gala on Lagos streets. Alsilski said he came to Lagos to carry out a six-month research project on hawking and street trading in Lagos, and the best way to get the answers that he wants was to get involved in the real business rather than be an observer. He said he had already spent five months in Lagos, hawking gala at different parts of the state. “I am here to do a research on hawking and street trading. I was billed to be in Nigeria for six months as part of the Fullbright exchange programme. “I have been here for five months now, hawking. I have one month to go. I am going to give a presentation to the United States Embassy about my research,” said Alsilski. Born in the city of New York, the United States, Alsilski lamented that from what he has observed, government was harsh on hawkers and street traders. “Hawkers here are under stress right now from the government and I am studying what the government is doing right now. We can make some recommendations. “Government is harsh on them. Some of them have had their goods taken away. I am not sure that is the best way to go about it. “In some cities, hawkers and traders are given licenses and allowed to go to certain areas to hawk. But hawkers should not be allowed to hawk in places like Oshodi,” he stated. Alsilski’s hawking business has taken him to Yaba, Ojuelegba, Mushin, Ojota, Mile 2, Apapa, Lagos Island and Agege.

Source: PMNEWS (http://thepmnews.com/2009/06/16/american-hawks-gala-in-lagos)

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Oshodi Lasgidi Driving, no bumper 2 bumper

25 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, Lagos Driving 101

1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)

3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way”in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend ur whole saturday @ the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS

- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

Source: Mayowa Owoeye (facebook notes)

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Floods return, Victoria Island is partially submerged in Rain water. Ajah, Onipanu, Palmgrove, Ketu, Orile and Apapa are sure to be floating boats right now.

Don’t get caught, you don’t wanna be pushing a dead car through the heavy flood with your pants raised up and the rain pouring on you. Or do you?

If you can’t stand traffic, get a flying car, if you can’t stand flood, get a flying boat or stay at home (or go back to your village). Thank you.

Car or Submarine?

Aquatic cars top shopping (wish) list

Take the BRT Man...

If you can't get an aquatic or a flying car, attach to a high one, Clearance is key!

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Lagos V.I. Ikoyi Lekki Live Traffic on Google Map

Probably the single most useful site to a Lagosian, this website grabs real time traffic statistics via mobile, GPS, MMS and web technologies around V.I, Ikoyi and Lekki showing levels of traffic speed from Free, slow, very slow and highlighted in Green, Orange and Red colours with matching pictures and snapshots. Interestingly, they are offering subscription services by SMS or email (I guess you only pay for the sms, updates are free, at least for now). This should save you some man hours to play around with and give you confidence in arranging and meeting up with appointments and meetings.

Lagos: Save hours with Live Road traffic updates on Google Maps with real-time pictures – LagosMet.com

You don’t know how happy I am, but this is a sign of good things to come. Since the IP surveillance camera project by Swift Broadband, only coded people have the IP addresses of the cameras, hopefully after the state-wide WiMAX deployment, we can have access to live traffic reports (definitely not free).

Click on the red pegs to view snapshots, already the colours should direct you: the greener the freer, if it says red, don’t go there. The project is in beta version though, hopefully and prayerfully they will complete it and make us all happy, you feel me? Let’s go there: http://traffic.enownow.com/

Enownow.com, we thank una o.

Eko o ni baje!

Lagos V.I. Ikoyi Lekki Live Traffic on Google Map

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