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LagosMet Tips: How to avoid, manage or repel a rapist, rape. RAPE, a topic no one wants share, remember, or report.

With no 911, rehab or respect, the present scare and scourge of HIV/AIDS, talkless of pregnancy, the last thing you want to come face to face with is the certainty of rape, or a rapists hands down your zippers. Thanks to Gov. Fashola, Oshodi is now a beauty to behold, even at night. Gone are the days when people who try to beat the early morning traffic on their way to work end up being raped in Oshodi even along the rail road. Things have changed now though. Stampedes, riots and curfews are sure fire ways to risk being raped and rapists are everywhere, in hostels, schools, parties, camps e.t.c. and they usually get away with it because no one dares to report.

Here in Lagos, there have been reports of fathers raping daughters (repeatedly), uncles deflowering nieces (forcefully), secondary teachers having their way with students and even gay rapes in male hostels. The after-effect of rape could be life-threatening sadness, darkness, depression and inability to trust. Some rape victims eventually commit suicide, some become very religious, while some refuse to settle down. Trust me, it’s recession, everyone’s cutting cost or getting laid off (not getting laid!) and you don’t want to add one rapist’s son to your payroll – rape is of no moral, spiritual, physical, social or even economic value. Its a stigma no one wants to live with. Have you been raped? You certainly don’t want a repeat. I feel for you, I don’t know how it feels but you must share your experiences sometime (on SecretZen, or Rubminds), with others, maybe, anonymously, and empty your mind just so you can move on.

The son of a rapist is what?

As the rains approach, the weather becomes cold, there isn’t a better time than now to be wary of rapists. Please read and pass on:

Source: http://rubminds.com/forums/general-discussion/through-a-rapist’s-eyes-(no-joke)/

_{Long read but  worth it.. Pass it on to every female you know; you can even share this link.}

A  group of rapists and date rapists in prison were  interviewed on what they look for in a potential  victim and here are some interesting  facts:

1) The  first thing men look for in a potential victim  is hairstyle. They  are most likely to go after a woman  with a  ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can  easily be grabbed .  They are also likely to go  after a  woman with long hair .  Women with short hair are not common  targets.

2) The  second thing men look for  is clothing.  They will look for women  who’s clothing is easy to remove  quickly.  Many of them carry scissors around specifically to  cut clothing.

3) They  also look  for women on their cell phone, searching  through their purse, or doing  other activities while  walking because  they are off-guard and can be easily  overpowered.

4) Men  are most likely to attack & rape in the early  morning, between 5:  00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The  number one place women are abducted from/attacked  is grocery  store parking lots.  The number two: office  parking lots/garages. Number  three: public  restrooms.

6)  The thing about these men is that they  are looking  to grab a woman and quickly move her to another  location where  they don’t have to worry about getting  caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons  because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape  with a weapon is 15-20 years.

If  you put  up any kind of a fight at  all, they  get discouraged because  it only takes a minute or two for them to realize  that going after you isn’t worth it because it will  be time-consuming.

9) These men said they  would not  pick on women who have  umbrellas,  or other similar objects  that can  be used from a  distance, in  their hands.

Keys  are NOT a  deterrent because  you have to get really close to the attacker to use  them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these  guys you’re not worth it.

10) Several defense  mechanisms he taught us are: If  someone is following behind  you on  a street or in a garage or with you in a n elevator  or stairwell, look  them in the face and ask them a  question,  like what  time is it?,  or make general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so  cold out here,’ ‘We’re in for a bad  winter.’ Now  you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a  line-up; you lose appeal as a  target.

http://lagosmet.com/blog/2009/04/how-to-avoid-manage-repel-rapist-rape-tips/

11) If  someone is coming toward you, hold  out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or  STAY BACK!Most of the rapists this man talked to  said they’d  leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she  would not be afraid to fight  back.  Again, they are looking for an EASY  target.

12) If you carry  pepper spray (this  instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it  with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY  and holding  it out will be a  deterrent.

13) If  someone grabs you,  you can’t beat them with strength but you can  by outsmarting  them.  If you are grabbed around the waist from  behind, pinch  the attacker either under  the Arm (between  the elbow and armpit) OR  in the upper inner thigh VERY  VERY HARD.  One woman in a class this guy taught told him she  used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to  date rape her and was so upset she broke through the  skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed  stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as  hard as you can stand it – it  hurts.

14) After  the initial hit, always GO  for the GROIN.  I know from a particularly unfortunate experience  that if you slap a guy’s parts it  is extremely painful.  You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make  him want to hurt you more, but the thing these  rapists told our instructor is that they want a  woman who will not cause a lot of  trouble. Start  causing trouble and he’s out of  there.

15) When  the guy puts his hands up to  you, grab  his first two fingers and bend them back as far as  possible with as much pressure pushing down on them  as possible. The instructor did it to me without  using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and  both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course  the things we always hear still  apply. Always  be aware of your surroundings, take  someone with you if you can and if  you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with  your instincts!!!

You  may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel  much worse if the guy really was  trouble.

1.  Tip from Tae  Kwon Do :  The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If  you are close enough to use it, do!

2.  Learned this from a tourist guide  in New  Orleans :  If a robber asks for your wallet and/or  purse,DO  NOT HAND IT TO HIM.  Toss it away from you….chances are that he is more  interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and  he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN  LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER  DIRECTION!

3.  If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick  out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the  hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t  see you, but everybody else will. This has saved  lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into  their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc.,  and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a  list, etc.) DON’T  DO THIS! The  predator will be watching you, and this is the  perfect opportunity for him to get in on the  passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you  where to go. AS  SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND  LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun  to your head DO  NOT DRIVE OFF,  repeat: DO  NOT DRIVE OFF!  Instead gun the engine and speed into anything,  wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the  person is in the back seat they will get the worst  of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.  It is better than having them find your body in a  remote location.

5  A few notes about getting into your car in a parking  lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look  around you, look into your car, at the passenger  side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you  are parked next to a big van, enter your car from  the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their  victims by pulling them into their vans while the  women are attempting to get into their  cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the  driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger  side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest  your car, you may want to walk back into the mall,  or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back  out.

IT  IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY . (And better  paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take  the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are  horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime  spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7.  If the predator has a gun and you are not under his  control, ALWAYS  RUN! The  predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in  100 times. And even then, it most  likely WILL  NOT be  a vital organ.RUN,  preferably in a zigzag  pattern!

8. As  women, we are always trying to be  sympathetic: STOP! It  may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial  killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who  ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting  women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often  asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his  vehicle, which is when he abducted his next  victim.
9.  Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her  friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night  before last, and she called the police because it  was late and she thought it was weird. The police  told her ‘Whatever  you do, DO NOT open the  door.’

The  lady then said that it sounded like the baby had  crawled near a window, and she was worried that it  would crawl to the street and get run over. The  policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way,  whatever you do, DO  NOT open the door.’ He  told her that they think a serial killer has a  baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of  their homes thinking that someone dropped off a  baby. He said they have not verified it, but have  had several calls by women saying that they hear  baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home  alone at night.

Please  pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying  baby — This should be taken seriously because the  Crying Baby theory was mentioned  on America’s  Most Wanted this  past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer  in Louisiana .

I’d  like you to forward this to all the women you know.  It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by  lighting another candle. I was going to send this to  the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,  wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to  pass it onto them, as well.

Source: http://rubminds.com/forums/general-discussion/through-a-rapist’s-eyes-(no-joke)/

Take away: Bobby Bishops song for Amy (a teenage rape victim)

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