Mouth-to-mouth… Please pass this on…

Return of the Robbers

DEAR ALL,
We received the message below from a friend of the Bank and hastened to share with all staff and friends. Kindly read and make use of the relevant information contained herein:
As you are probably aware, the spate of criminality in Lagos in the last few days has reached an alarming stage in which all staff resident in these areas need to exercise extra caution in carrying out their daily and nightly choirs. This is rampant in VI, LEKKI, ILUPEJU, IKEJA, AIRPORT ROADS & IKOYI in recent days.

MODUS OPERANDI.

Armed robbers mostly in their youth of ages ranging from 17yrs to 24yrs have been noticed to be the culprits. In the most recent cases, five different techniques have been adopted.
1.        They ride in Okada and are mostly three in numbers or in convoy of two motorbikes carrying one or two persons on each motor bike. They usually target their victims and follow them closely while the person is heading home both during the day and at night, sometimes to office.
2.        On the road while driving, they follow their target closely knowing pretty well that he/she might stop to buy some things while the traffic is slow or change the lane. In that case they will block their victim and one of them will Flash a fake identity card claiming to be a security agent and once he gains entrance into your car he points his pistol at you and commands you to drive him straight to your house or remote hidden unknown hotel under gun point , then either rob or ask for ransom, (It could be worse if wife or female teenager are at home).
3.        They also pretend to be hawkers of recharge cards on the road. They carry used and unused recharge cards and an unsuspecting person who winds down car glasses to make a purchase especially at night falls victim to them and they will attack the person and dispossess him/her of his/her valuables and if the person is unlucky they might injure him/her.
4.        It has also been noticed that most of these Armed robbers who use these Motorbikes use illegal motor bike repair spots especially within Lekki and Osborne road area as a base to watch out for their unsuspecting victims.
5.        The most recent method adopted by these robbers is to throw old used tyres on approaching vehicles or use these tyres to narrow the road so that motorist will slow down. They sometimes cross in front of car while others stand at a clear distanced observing then attack.
6.        Young attractive girls, as early as 6 am or on Sunday or holidays afternoon turn up at your door bells and pretend to have message from your house help or seeking neighbours address and gain entry to your door, suddenly go naked and shout for help and before you know it, her accompanied armed boys are on you, even some times fake police.
PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES.
The following are tips to exercise caution in this kind of situations
1.        Be vigilant at all times while driving and ensure that your doors are firmly locked while you are inside.
2.        Buy your recharge cards while you are in the office or at home and avoid buying things in traffic, it has become very costly to do that.
3.        Before you branch off to your gate at night watch carefully through your side/inner mirrors and if possible contact your security personnel in your house or any of your family member …to let them know that you are on your way home.
4.        If you notice any unusual gathering of Motorbikes around your neighborhood probably as motorbike repair spots kindly report to the nearest Police station.
5.        While driving to work early in the morning, control your speed and always look ahead of you and if you’re being driven by a driver advice him accordingly and also watch out as well.
6.        In case you are being accosted by these evil men, don’t panic, don’t move your hands unless they asked you to do so, be calm and leave your engine running unless advised otherwise.
7.        Signal your family or security in a coded manner but unnoticed by the devil so they take precautionary measure.
8.        Do not exchange foreign currency in your office to the knowledge of any one or at your residence in presence of house help/ driver or security.
Do not announce your foreign travel or holiday to your house help or driver before two or 3hrs of journey time. Driver and cook have sent armed robbers to their masters. A case at hand is one executive of a Bank who travelled to the UK on 19th Sept. The house help cleared the house before his return.
9.        Pray, pray, pray.

Eko o ni baje o!

Kudos to whoever compiled this.

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My Tata Nano

Tata Nano and Lagos State, will it survive? A review.

Kia Picanto, I10, QQ, Maruti 800, Nano… Namaste! I think “we” know ourselves when it comes to class. You butterish ones, I ain’t talking to y’all, na we dem dem I dey follow yarn. I know you can afford the Smartcars ForTwos and cohorts but you won’t go near this one I can bet. Why? Cos it’s so dang cheap! When I’m thinking Mini-Car to office every Lagos day, you are thinking of driving it down the golf course only. Wait a minute? Even if GTB, UBA, Oceanic, PHB, Zenith and Intercontinental all “collabo” to donate this “ride” (yes, ride, not motor) to my pitiable cause, am I ready to put my one and only life into the driver seat and hit Western Avenue? Yeparipa, come with me and let’s inspect my dream toy. Please advise rightly, put yourself in my shoes, be thy brother’s keeper, even if I can’t be of “help” to someone else.

The Red Nano, high and cheap

I’ve cruised a few really low (in terms of clearance, not height) cars on the streets of Las Gidi in the past. Volkswagen Bug and Kia Picanto to be precise and I know what it takes having one as your only “donkey” (remember Tico Daewoo?). Not nice at all. Every day you fight a battle against three foes; flood, bumps (including speed breakers) and pot-holes and you just never get to win. For a roadside mechanic who “knows his job” your sump and other car parts closer to the ground are bound to drill holes in your pocket (you should know by now that I’m more of a pessimist). Okay, nor vex, back to the topic. I did not say hatchback, read well, I said minicar sometimes called SmartCar so if you are thinking Swift, Rio or even Golf or Mini then you are getting it all mixed up because I’m not even talking about the Benz SmartCar or other look alikes but about these sub 1.1-llitre (mostly 800cc or less) engine minicars, usually with four doors, low ground clearance and looks that remind you of the Pocket PC. Unlike most SmartCars, these minicars ship with 4 doors.

Suzuki's $4,000 Maruti 800

As you are reading this, I just got me a wooden kolo (little bank) to save as much as I can before the Nano finds its way to the hungry Lagos Market.

QQ3 not a hit in Lagos

I’m trying to imagine my Nano speeding past the Cayenne and LR3 on the third mainland bridge, defying the laws of Lagoon breeze and Lagos Madness. I’m not scared cos I’ve seen the Chery QQ3 and Hyundai I10 do 100 on the freeway. With 160 cm of height and 18cm of ground clearance, the Nano is more suited to the rigours of Lagos roads compared with QQ3’s 12.5cm, but with a rear engine I think i’m covered for balance. If you know what I mean, the typical Kia Sportage stands 7.7 inches (20 cm) from the ground. Compared with Maruti 800’s 800cc engine, my nano has a little above 600 and with a 2-cylinder engine, I’m eager to hear what it’ll sound like (keke Napep), hopefully the horn should compensate for the bike-like sound on the road. The electronic engine management should get the best out of our tiny set-up including fuel consumption. A gallon (4 litres) can take you as far as almost 90km. Besides, you only need 1,050 (one thousand and fifty) naira to fill your 15-litre tank! QQ3 has 38 litres. Don’t mention, I can’t wait for the luxury version so I’ll go with the standard version which has no a/c. Now if I were to “bus” to Ibadan, I would be looking at 500 naira to and maybe 450 naira fro (on the average, usually more). That’s almost my full tank and I only need half my tank to drive down to Molete and back but Lagostically thinking, I’d pick 3 other passengers up at Berger (@ 150 naira per seat, not butts) for 450 naira and do the same on the return trip… with 900 naira, that’s more fuel than my tank can hold. Who says having your brand new car doesn’t make sense? As for parking space, you shouldn’t have a problem, 2 nanos can park in your typical Volvo 740 parking space.

For the techies:

Th!nk city, Mini look-alike

The Tata Nano has  a rear-wheel drive, all-aluminium, two-cylinder, 623 cc, 33 PS, multi point fuel injection petrol (MPFI) engine. It’s a petrol engine of course. Rear wheel drive, rear engine configuration means that the front end is very light, and you would not feel the need for power steering. The powertrain of the Tata Nano is set in the rear. Maximum power and maximum torque is  35 bhp @ 5500 rpm and 4.8 kgm @ 3000 rpm, respectively. In terms of performance, the Nano can go from 0 to 60 kph in approximately in 8 Seconds, hitting a top speed of 105 kph. I bet you dont want to swerve or switch double lanes at that point.

On RubMinds.com, a poster from Ireland said she wouldn’t travel long distances due to traffic and fuel scarcity on the expressway, the kerb weight of 600kg didn’t go down either due to strong winds and seating capacity means no lift of any kind to Orobo people.

Warranty on the Nano is 18 months or 24,000 Km, please don’t raise your hopes. Joor oh! Mi o le fi Keke Napep le Trailer o!

$16,000 Smart - the popular one

The summary of it all is that the Nano will work in Lagos but you must not expect too much from it (at least for the price). Not a bad car at all and at 500,000 naira a unit, it’s much better than buying a tokunbo car. There is currently no support but I think Tata should set up big time in Lagos sometime next year after fulfilling their promise to Indians. There is a chance that more and more cheaper cars can be manufactured or are we just paying too much for some cars that aren’t worth that much, like mobile phones? Will the Nano sell? Are you kidding me? Expect to see Glo Nano 100,000 cars Rule and Win Promo Bye-bye to one-chance or crash helmet… He he he. I’m not asking you to donate cash, please donate yarns, should I save or should I just buy a plot of Land at Mowe (25k per month)? Jaiho ooo!

Recessity is the mother of Invention

In Francis Dike’s words, Lagos Naija are you ready for this?

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